Nightmares

It always starts the same way. I'm being chased through a dark, cluttered, deserted building.

I find a place to hide but I hear him coming...my heart is pounding and I'm breathing hard, but trying to suppress any sound so as not to be discovered. But it always ends the same way, I hear the door to the room opening and his heavy footsteps coming towards the closet in which I'm hiding. He rattles the door knob then laughs maniacally as he pulls the door open wide and discovers me cowering...

And then I wake up...startled & terrified.

I know this stems from sexual abuse I suffered as a child from the age of about 6 to 12, at the hands of a much older cousin.

To this date, I can barely tolerate being in the same room with him. For days on end prior to a family function I'm physically ill, the nightmare comes back and I'm not a pleasant person to be around due to lack of sleep and emotional distress.

I'm torn...do I pursue what avenues I have to confront and find closure, thereby tearing my family apart or do I continue to suppress it and hope he'll get hit by a large truck so I won't have to destroy my family?

Who am I protecting?