"In general, you are attracted to individuals with very strong personalities and eccentric people. But you have to realize that behind this attraction lies a very strong need of freedom, Christine. In your life, freedom is more a fantasy than a reality! The time has come for you to do some soul searching. Try not to hide from the realities of your life!"
I don't usually hold much stock in horoscopes but sometimes I swear someone is in my head or stalking me and writing these horoscopes just for me...lol...none the less, currently in my life I think it's very apropos...
Someone who commands respect...who inspires me to do my best and to always make my very best efforts, is the type of person I am immediately attracted to. In their embrace I am as meek as a kitten...purring...content...sated...
Someone who demands respect...that talks down to me...that belittles my opinion or mocks my standards, I have no time for. In their grip I am a caged tiger...pacing...impatient..restless..
If you have no patience to teach me...to truly understand me...then you're not balanced and can't fully understand the needs of others.
It's about power exchange...not wrenching it from my grasp...
Give and take...
Yin & yang...
I know and fully accept that I am a strong willed and opinionated person....but hey, opinions are like assholes...everybody's got one.
But when I am with my One....my need for freedom will be met because He inspires me to soar like an eagle...
Soul searching...I've been doing a fair amount of that in recent days...but I've always been rather introspective.
I think it's called navel gazing ;)
Reality bites, eh?...lol
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Saturday, February 24, 2007
random memory...flashback lol
20 years ago...underaged (rofl) Eddie's bar in St. Ratford
I remember pitching a beer bottle down a flight of about 10 steps at a buddy of mine...just because he flipped me off.
I hit what I was aiming for...the floor at his feet...I didn't want to hurt him just up'd the anty...and I made my point to him loud and clear...
Unfortunately Blaine the manager was standing there talking to him when I did it so I got booted for the night...that guy had no sense of humour...lmao
But hey...what's one night of lost boozin'? Not that it was lost, we probably just get bootleg booze from Bonesy. My liver would probably have thanked me if I'd just not had a drink one night.
I remember pitching a beer bottle down a flight of about 10 steps at a buddy of mine...just because he flipped me off.
I hit what I was aiming for...the floor at his feet...I didn't want to hurt him just up'd the anty...and I made my point to him loud and clear...
Unfortunately Blaine the manager was standing there talking to him when I did it so I got booted for the night...that guy had no sense of humour...lmao
But hey...what's one night of lost boozin'? Not that it was lost, we probably just get bootleg booze from Bonesy. My liver would probably have thanked me if I'd just not had a drink one night.
jealousy
I told someone tonight that I don't do jealousy. That it serves no one and only damages, it does no good.
That wasn't always the case. Quite the contrary, believe you me....lol
If someone tried to take something that was MINE...they'd be spittin' teeth. Ok, so I'm not that violent (any more) but I was a mean, possessive, jealous, unreasonable bitch when it came to thatwhichbelongedtome...or so I perceived it to be. I was just a very unhappy person in those days too though and thought I'd find the answers in the bottom of a vodka bottle or f*d up on whatever...
But that's a whole 'nother dozen or so blog entries alone and I'd have to change names to protect the not so innocent...lol
It wasn't until very recently, I finally learned the lesson that he's been trying to teach me 'lo these past 4 years.
I cannot posses anyone anymore than I myself can be possessed, but I can share and embrace and enjoy my life...such as it is.
I can make life happen, instead of waiting for it to happen to me.
That wasn't always the case. Quite the contrary, believe you me....lol
If someone tried to take something that was MINE...they'd be spittin' teeth. Ok, so I'm not that violent (any more) but I was a mean, possessive, jealous, unreasonable bitch when it came to thatwhichbelongedtome...or so I perceived it to be. I was just a very unhappy person in those days too though and thought I'd find the answers in the bottom of a vodka bottle or f*d up on whatever...
But that's a whole 'nother dozen or so blog entries alone and I'd have to change names to protect the not so innocent...lol
It wasn't until very recently, I finally learned the lesson that he's been trying to teach me 'lo these past 4 years.
I cannot posses anyone anymore than I myself can be possessed, but I can share and embrace and enjoy my life...such as it is.
I can make life happen, instead of waiting for it to happen to me.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Bad Car-ma
In the space of less than 24 hours, 2 friends have had "accidents" with their vehicles.
MJ was on his way home from Toronto on business and stopped in for coffee yesterday afternoon - we had a nice but short visit coz he wanted to get on the road home due to the weather. I tried to persuade him to stay, but he was determined to get home. He called me from Lucan which, in ideal conditions, takes no more than 20 minutes to drive to...it took him an hour and a half. He was stuck there because the OPP had the highway closed by then so he grabbed a book from the variety store and went to sit in the Timmies parking lot - can't smoke indoors anywhere anymore...unless of course, you're in your own home. However, MJ being MJ, he got antsy and decided he was going to make a run for it...so he snuck out of town onto a backroad and yup, you guessed it...he plowed it into a snowbank. He was out with the MTO this morning and their payloader to find it before their plows blasted through the drifts and consequently his vehicle...it took about half an hour to actually find it and when they did, it was in about 30 feet and covered in about 10 inches of snow. He said there was so much snow under the hood, he could hardly find the battery...
My second friend with bad car-ma was trying to find a gas leak on his car when it suddenly...POOF...up it went up in flames. He's off to rent a car now coz his is basically a burnt out skeleton from the firewall up...
I told him he shouldn't have been using his lighter to find the gas leak...lolol...
He wasn't really, but I do so enjoy winding him up - it's so easy to do!!
MJ was on his way home from Toronto on business and stopped in for coffee yesterday afternoon - we had a nice but short visit coz he wanted to get on the road home due to the weather. I tried to persuade him to stay, but he was determined to get home. He called me from Lucan which, in ideal conditions, takes no more than 20 minutes to drive to...it took him an hour and a half. He was stuck there because the OPP had the highway closed by then so he grabbed a book from the variety store and went to sit in the Timmies parking lot - can't smoke indoors anywhere anymore...unless of course, you're in your own home. However, MJ being MJ, he got antsy and decided he was going to make a run for it...so he snuck out of town onto a backroad and yup, you guessed it...he plowed it into a snowbank. He was out with the MTO this morning and their payloader to find it before their plows blasted through the drifts and consequently his vehicle...it took about half an hour to actually find it and when they did, it was in about 30 feet and covered in about 10 inches of snow. He said there was so much snow under the hood, he could hardly find the battery...
My second friend with bad car-ma was trying to find a gas leak on his car when it suddenly...POOF...up it went up in flames. He's off to rent a car now coz his is basically a burnt out skeleton from the firewall up...
I told him he shouldn't have been using his lighter to find the gas leak...lolol...
He wasn't really, but I do so enjoy winding him up - it's so easy to do!!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Snurfling
I've been off work since Friday with this god awful cold...and to top it off, my computer has been giving me major grief so I can barely keep myself entertained while I'm home.
It does all sorts of odd things; like rebooting spontaneously, freezing up on me so *I* have to reboot and a kernal stack error...whatever the hell that is...
Anyhow...today I took it apart, sucked all the fuzzies (yes, I smoke...and we have the infamous Eddie-beast who sheds like crazy - short haired dog...who'd-a-thunk it??) out with the vacuum...got ambitious & took the cpu fan out too...it was NASTY...lol...but I cleaned it up & put it all back together. Seems to be running ok now for the time being...but it really needs to have the fan replaced asap. With the new hard drive installed as well, I should probably get some geekspertise from Rob at work to come over and sort things out properly.
On a fantasmically great note...my MJ is coming over for a visit tomorrow!!!!
Barring any emergencies of course...with my luck...there'll be one......but I'm owed a whuppin' for passing this cold onto him...
Oops...not my fault he was tryin' to suck my tonsils out!! LOL
It does all sorts of odd things; like rebooting spontaneously, freezing up on me so *I* have to reboot and a kernal stack error...whatever the hell that is...
Anyhow...today I took it apart, sucked all the fuzzies (yes, I smoke...and we have the infamous Eddie-beast who sheds like crazy - short haired dog...who'd-a-thunk it??) out with the vacuum...got ambitious & took the cpu fan out too...it was NASTY...lol...but I cleaned it up & put it all back together. Seems to be running ok now for the time being...but it really needs to have the fan replaced asap. With the new hard drive installed as well, I should probably get some geekspertise from Rob at work to come over and sort things out properly.
On a fantasmically great note...my MJ is coming over for a visit tomorrow!!!!
Barring any emergencies of course...with my luck...there'll be one......but I'm owed a whuppin' for passing this cold onto him...
Oops...not my fault he was tryin' to suck my tonsils out!! LOL
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