Avril * * * aid

Ben's big present this year is tickets to see Avril Lavigne in April at the JLC here in London.

He's got a thing for her...lol...it's cute - but he was some pissed when she got married! ;)

I'll be sure to have the camera ready to capture the moment he opens that gift.



* * *

I made a little difference today...

I was out on a run to Timmies as is per my usual Saturday morning routine and on my way home I saw someone struggling as they walked...with a cane...juggling a bag of groceries & a large bag of dog food. Every couple of steps he’d stumble or slip - the sidewalks are not very well cleared of snow and it was plainly evident that he has difficulty in the best conditions - he'd lose hold of his parcels again and have to readjust his load.

I was nearing my corner and couldn't stop right there but I couldn’t in all good conscience pull into my driveway and leave him either so I turned around and went back to offer him a ride. He told me that some old guy laughed at him as he left the grocery store but didn’t think to offer him conveyance. Even as I drove past him minutes before I watched dozens of cars fly by him and you could read his body language...shoulders drooped...looking around to see if anyone was going to stop.

He told me I made his day...and I gently corrected him and said no...you made MY day by being there so I could help you.

I usually only pick up 2 coffees...I nuke the second one later, but today I was compelled to get a third...I’m sure he’s happily enjoyed that coffee even if it wasn't exactly to his taste. He was grateful.

No big deal really...5 minutes of my time and $1.58 for a coffee.

The smile on his face was priceless.

Silly me, I didn't get his name but of course I know where he lives. I'm going to take him a Christmas card later. I also noticed he doesn't have a winter tip on his cane...they're not expensive so I'll grab one of those as well.

Now...where was I?

Yikes! It's been a while since I've posted. I've been buried under a mountain of work, school and the neverending adventure with B (har har).

The migraine saga seems to be settled...folr the moment. Finally, after YEARS of fighting to get my NEEDS met, the University & HR have designated my office space & the immediate area a "scent free zone". Of course they've used all sorts of "soft" words like "in consideration" & "please refrain from" coz you know they don't want to offend anyone or disturb them...

WTF????

I have suffered from migraine headaches for as long as I can remember, and ever since I started at my current job (10 years and counting), I have been suckin' it up and just taking it because I thought I had to (not to mention any self-esteem issues, ie...I'm not worthy). It wasn't until my family doctor finally got as frustrated as I am since nobody at work seemed to be taking my issues seriously, and filed a WSIB claim on my behalf. It was her intention to force their hand...and they have ammended their methodology...or at the very least it's a start!

They're baaaaaack!

The new term has begun. All the little kiddies are moved into rez and swarming the campus. I've only been asked for directions on how to get to such & such a building...or classroom about a hundred times...lol

My first (& only for this term) class started last night; Poli sci 020. The prof, Nigmendra Narain or Nig as he's commonly known is a dynamic, enthusiastic and engaging personality. He was given the Angela Armitt award for teaching in 2006 which was voted on by his students. That in itself spoke volumes to me and was one of several reasons why I chose to take his class.

I'm very excited about school...and eventually earning a degree in social work....something I've wanted to do since I can remember.

to camp or not to camp

My friend's dad is ill and he needs to find a caretaker like yesterday. His mum is worn to a frazzle; I know the look, I've seen it on both my grandmothers' faces before they conceded they could no longer provide their husbands' care at home alone, even with a daily nurse visit and he's swamped with business so he can't be there 24/7 as much as he'd like to be. He has to provide himself with an income in order to live and fund his projects.

I'm on holidays for 2 weeks. I would gladly pinch hit for him, if he'll accept my offer. It will give him some breathing room and I could actually do the search and hiring of my replacement as well so he's free of that burden too.

I'm supposed to go camping with about 150 other people this weekend...I look forward to this event all year and it's the only real holiday I take for *me*. There are no children at this venue.

He's done so much for me...this little thing, I can do for him...

Harry Potter

The movie was grrrrreat! We *just* got in though – sold out – we got the LAST seats...had to sit right up front and craned our necks up to watch it, but I enjoyed it none the less.

I saved $10 on one admission with my freebie, but I still spent $30 – thieving bastards...$20 for 2 “regular” bags of popcorn & soft drinks...there goes my entertainment budget LOL

B was gigglin’ ‘til I tucked him in and then some. He knows how much I dislike snakes and all things creepy crawly so he takes complete advantage of the situation if there’s a snake or something similarly slimy in the movie...he was hissing like a snake and wiggling his hands back and forth like snakes slithers...

Oh and just as there’s snake is slithering across the screen...he leans into me and says..."wouldn’t it be freaky if something crawled over your feet right now?”

Little bugger!

Gotta love his sense of humour...brilliant!

political science & stuff

I've registered for my first course. I decided on political science as my first class and I'm really excited about it! It's been 11 years since I was in school, so it's not a terribly difficult course but enough to keep me interested and challenged.

I ran a yard sale with my friend Ruben for the past two weekends, so I'm lacking in sleep & good humour...I'm not planning on doing anything strenuous this weekend coming, so hopefully things will stay "quiet".

I had to take the dog to the vet on Saturday - he's been limping and licking his left paw. I thought he'd picked up some glass or a splinter, but no...not my Eddie! He's got a yeast infection in the skin in between the pads of his paw. First his ear, now his paw...I wonder what that dog is doing when I'm not home...LOL

Ben was at Camp Bimini last week. He had a great time and would love to go back for another week, but it's not financially feasible and the camps are all full anyhow.

I hope everyone is keeping well and staying cool in this heat & humidity!

June...already!

I'm not entirely sure where the month of May went...it simply flew by!

I've become a victim of facebook...lol...I'm thoroughly addicted to it!

I found my niece on it...which is excellent. I don't get to talk to my sister much because her husband is a dufus and doesn't like my family.....so we stay away to keep the peace for her. But, I found out this weekend from my niece that my sister has breast cancer...and I'm terribly frightened for her. She's been through all kinds of tests & scans; she's had a lumpectomy and is awaiting word on what treatment she'll have next, i.e., chemo, radiation...but it's dependant on results she'll be receiving on Thursday. The doctors found "something" on her leg during a bone scan...and maybe I know enough about medicine for it to scare me...if the cancer has metastasized already, the road ahead of her will be a long, painful one.

I'm not religiously inclined...but even I'm praying for her...

Long, long weekend

I booked tomorrow off work and since Monday is a stat. holiday, I have a 4 day weekend coming up and I can't friggin' wait!! lol

I'm having dinner with one of my most favourite people on Saturday. We sorta lost track of one another unfortunately for a couple years it seems, but we've been doing some quick catching up. So, when he announced that he's determined to go for some awesome Dim Sum on Saturday in Mississauga, it didn't take me long to bow out of some previously made plans to commit to joining him & whomever else decides to come as well.

OUAC has cashed my cheque for application fees....one step closer to becoming a university student!!

back to school

I've finally decided that I don't want to sit in the same mundane job for the rest of my life...therefore, I am going back to school!

Hopefully, starting in September, I will begin the long road to completing my degree in social work.

I say long road because I will have to do it part time. I can't afford to quit the mundane job coz I still have to put food on the table...not to mention keeping the roof over said table!

If I were a fresh out of highschool grad, I would do 2 years at main, then in the 3rd & 4th years I'd be at King's which is an affiliate of Western, not part of...but my degree will be confered by Western - it's confusing...anyhow...

I have a meeting with the mature student advisor on the 9th and from there I guess I'll get transcripts together - I should probably order them now to facilitate the process...to find out what transfer and/or life experience credits I'm entitled to. I'd like to start in September, but if not there's always January admissions.

I guess there is something to being older when you go back to school...I wonder if I can apply for extra credit in human relations....LMAO

Ben thinks that's just crazy talk...lol...he can't wait to get out of school - at least for now. I am hoping that someday he'll see the true value of a good education and stick with it or, do as I am, and return at a later date.

Happy Easter leadfoot

Fuck! I got a $40 speeding ticket in Stratford yesterday. Happy fuckin' Easter indeed. He nailed me in a fishing hole by the hospital on John Street. One can't help but accelerate because you're going DOWNHILL...but I WAS applying the brake, hell if I hadn't, it would have been way worse. He was kinda snippy with me, so I just said hey...I'm not going to argue with you, you're the one with the gun, I was just stating my position. Then I made him come back to the car because I gave him the wrong proof of insurance...rofl Anyhow...prick stuck me with a speeding ticket...and made a point of telling me about my responsibility to control my vehicle and that he'd given me a big break (he dropped it from 70 to 50 in a 40) to which I finally responded, I *know* and appreciate that, however...I've lived in and around Stratford long enough to know that you guys fish this particular hole and I find it absolutely unfair. I contend I was applying the brake and that my increased speed was due to inertia, not spite - I saw you sitting at the dock with your hook in the water.

And then Ben says...."what's inertia??"

Cop didn't reply to me or Ben....he just handed me the ticket and went back to his cruiser...lol

We carried on to Mum & Dad's where much noise and merriment was had when the crew finally got home from church after a 2 hour service (yoikes!); we were going there, but because of the cop...we were delayed and I was NOT walking into a jam-packed church 20 minutes late! The crew consisted of Mum, Dad, 3 brothers & their families (minus 1 sister-in-law who was working), Grandma and Kate - the Rotary exchange student from South Africa.

WAY too much chocolate; I'm paying for it today, I have a massive migraine.

Dufus picked Ben up at 4 to go to his parents' in Mitchell for supper....lol....from one gathering to another - the kid'll be exhausted!

Kate's funny...she was talking to her brother on msn and she was telling him how my Mum is a "bit of a Feminist" and in the Canadian Women's Federation and that my Dad does all the cooking, cleaning & laundry...to which her brother replied..."Daaaaaad....you'd better bring Kate home quick!!"

Having grown up on a farm, it's funny for me to see how drastically the roles have reversed for them....now mind you, Dad's "retired" and they live in town now...they sold the farm 15 years ago or so. He's still very active - either babysitting grandkids or volunteer driving for the church and in the spring & fall, he often works for a local farmer to help out at planting & harvesting.

a pause for a passionate cause

I was having a discussion about what a very dear friend of mine does for a living.

My friend is a "fixer"...

He does a lot of things, but more often than not, one can find him buried in a deal that he is doing that will enable him to do good works. For the good of people. It's not about the bottom line or lining his pockets, his concern is that he's helping the defenseless, weak and down-trodden. That is the culmination of his life's work - the driving force...making money is only the means to an end...

Don't get me wrong - he enjoys the comforts of an easy life as much as the next person, but he can't in all good conscience ignore what goes on in the world...he can't silence the voices...he can't quiet what he feels...

Billions of dollars have been poured into this so called "war on terrorism" and yet millions of people around the globe are still starving to death. We still have people living on the streets and there are thousands of children in Canada and the US going to bed hungry at night because they live below the poverty level despite their parents working full time or 2 or 3 jobs.

I'm passionate about his cause - not simply because of what he means to me, but because it is the right thing to do.

Soul Searching

"In general, you are attracted to individuals with very strong personalities and eccentric people. But you have to realize that behind this attraction lies a very strong need of freedom, Christine. In your life, freedom is more a fantasy than a reality! The time has come for you to do some soul searching. Try not to hide from the realities of your life!"

I don't usually hold much stock in horoscopes but sometimes I swear someone is in my head or stalking me and writing these horoscopes just for me...lol...none the less, currently in my life I think it's very apropos...

Someone who commands respect...who inspires me to do my best and to always make my very best efforts, is the type of person I am immediately attracted to. In their embrace I am as meek as a kitten...purring...content...sated...

Someone who demands respect...that talks down to me...that belittles my opinion or mocks my standards, I have no time for. In their grip I am a caged tiger...pacing...impatient..restless..

If you have no patience to teach me...to truly understand me...then you're not balanced and can't fully understand the needs of others.

It's about power exchange...not wrenching it from my grasp...

Give and take...

Yin & yang...

I know and fully accept that I am a strong willed and opinionated person....but hey, opinions are like assholes...everybody's got one.

But when I am with my One....my need for freedom will be met because He inspires me to soar like an eagle...

Soul searching...I've been doing a fair amount of that in recent days...but I've always been rather introspective.

I think it's called navel gazing ;)

Reality bites, eh?...lol

random memory...flashback lol

20 years ago...underaged (rofl) Eddie's bar in St. Ratford

I remember pitching a beer bottle down a flight of about 10 steps at a buddy of mine...just because he flipped me off.

I hit what I was aiming for...the floor at his feet...I didn't want to hurt him just up'd the anty...and I made my point to him loud and clear...

Unfortunately Blaine the manager was standing there talking to him when I did it so I got booted for the night...that guy had no sense of humour...lmao

But hey...what's one night of lost boozin'? Not that it was lost, we probably just get bootleg booze from Bonesy. My liver would probably have thanked me if I'd just not had a drink one night.

jealousy

I told someone tonight that I don't do jealousy. That it serves no one and only damages, it does no good.

That wasn't always the case. Quite the contrary, believe you me....lol

If someone tried to take something that was MINE...they'd be spittin' teeth. Ok, so I'm not that violent (any more) but I was a mean, possessive, jealous, unreasonable bitch when it came to thatwhichbelongedtome...or so I perceived it to be. I was just a very unhappy person in those days too though and thought I'd find the answers in the bottom of a vodka bottle or f*d up on whatever...

But that's a whole 'nother dozen or so blog entries alone and I'd have to change names to protect the not so innocent...lol

It wasn't until very recently, I finally learned the lesson that he's been trying to teach me 'lo these past 4 years.

I cannot posses anyone anymore than I myself can be possessed, but I can share and embrace and enjoy my life...such as it is.

I can make life happen, instead of waiting for it to happen to me.

Bad Car-ma

In the space of less than 24 hours, 2 friends have had "accidents" with their vehicles.

MJ was on his way home from Toronto on business and stopped in for coffee yesterday afternoon - we had a nice but short visit coz he wanted to get on the road home due to the weather. I tried to persuade him to stay, but he was determined to get home. He called me from Lucan which, in ideal conditions, takes no more than 20 minutes to drive to...it took him an hour and a half. He was stuck there because the OPP had the highway closed by then so he grabbed a book from the variety store and went to sit in the Timmies parking lot - can't smoke indoors anywhere anymore...unless of course, you're in your own home. However, MJ being MJ, he got antsy and decided he was going to make a run for it...so he snuck out of town onto a backroad and yup, you guessed it...he plowed it into a snowbank. He was out with the MTO this morning and their payloader to find it before their plows blasted through the drifts and consequently his vehicle...it took about half an hour to actually find it and when they did, it was in about 30 feet and covered in about 10 inches of snow. He said there was so much snow under the hood, he could hardly find the battery...

My second friend with bad car-ma was trying to find a gas leak on his car when it suddenly...POOF...up it went up in flames. He's off to rent a car now coz his is basically a burnt out skeleton from the firewall up...

I told him he shouldn't have been using his lighter to find the gas leak...lolol...

He wasn't really, but I do so enjoy winding him up - it's so easy to do!!

Snurfling

I've been off work since Friday with this god awful cold...and to top it off, my computer has been giving me major grief so I can barely keep myself entertained while I'm home.

It does all sorts of odd things; like rebooting spontaneously, freezing up on me so *I* have to reboot and a kernal stack error...whatever the hell that is...

Anyhow...today I took it apart, sucked all the fuzzies (yes, I smoke...and we have the infamous Eddie-beast who sheds like crazy - short haired dog...who'd-a-thunk it??) out with the vacuum...got ambitious & took the cpu fan out too...it was NASTY...lol...but I cleaned it up & put it all back together. Seems to be running ok now for the time being...but it really needs to have the fan replaced asap. With the new hard drive installed as well, I should probably get some geekspertise from Rob at work to come over and sort things out properly.

On a fantasmically great note...my MJ is coming over for a visit tomorrow!!!!

Barring any emergencies of course...with my luck...there'll be one......but I'm owed a whuppin' for passing this cold onto him...

Oops...not my fault he was tryin' to suck my tonsils out!! LOL

I aged 10 years in a matter of hours...

I don't think I've ever felt such a fear...

I had been trying to reach dufus (mini-me's father) ALL day, home & cell phone...I didn't know what, if any, arrangements he'd made for my mini-me for after school; yes, I assumed that he would be there for him after school as nothing different was relayed to me. When I couldn't reach dufus at either number, I finally called security at the theatre where he was working, and the person I spoke to went to find him and have him call me back at work. When he called it was then that I found out that he hadn't made any arrangements but assumed I had because he claims he told me that he was working 'til after school was out. I was in an absolute panic...I had tried several people...but to no avail and then I have to sit there and listen to him give ME hell because he fucked up?????

Anyhow...it turned out my mini-me knew where the spare key was and let himself into his dad's house. His father got an earful and I let the tears go finally.

I'm all better now...my mini-me got a big hug & he asked me what that was for. I told him I was so scared when I didn't know where he was!!

38

It's my birthday today...I'm 38 years old.

Occasionally I feel every bit of my 38 years...sometimes even more...lol...but today I don't feel 38.

All 3 of my brothers were summer babies, which is understandable. We were raised on a farm and their conceptions would have coincided with the end of harvest...I sure would like to know what was happening at the end of April in 1968...lol

Or maybe I don't wanna know...



My MJ told me..."fuck you're getting old!!"...to which I replied, "yeah but I'll *never* be as old as you..."

I'm gonna pay for that, but he deserved it...lol

I miss him like crazy...he's off on business this week, returning Saturday - in Toronto for a few days, then off to Texas & Mexico after that.

The Riot Act

Dr. M read us the riot act at Ben's appointment this morning.

I fully admit that he's been getting away with a lot and change is not going to come easily, but it's only to his benefit.

So starting Monday, from 4:30-5:30 there will be no electronic, battery, plug in, solar powered or otherwise type piece of equipment in use by him. For that hour, he must study or do homework.

Period.

I dropped him off at school and I was no sooner ensconced at my desk at work and the principal was on the phone. Ben's stomach hurt. He's "sick" so he can't stay at school.

I didn't think he'd balk quite so quickly...lol

Awesomeness

My mini-me has bloomed socially...

Because of his issues with ADHD & ODD, making and especially keeping friends has always been a major roadblock for him. Being someone who was constantly picked on for her weight, wearing glasses, being a bookworm, etc as a youngster, I felt his pain so very deeply. I've always known that he's really a sweet, considerate child and a champion of the underdog deep down inside despite his "disabilities". He has always stuck up for those smaller/younger/different than him, or when someone's being bullied, he's often the first to jump in and help them out...even when it gets him into trouble.

Lately though, he's been making a concerted effort to get himself up and ready to go to school and put the dog out in the morning so he can take part in the Breakfast Club and hang out with his friend Eric, whose Mom often volunteers there.

It's really a beautiful thing to see him coming out of his shell...

Home alone

My mini-me is 10. I've started leaving him on his own for short periods of time coz he doesn't care for shopping or anything that doesn't interest him (imagine that - a child that's self absorbed - no, really!) and would just rather stay home and watch TV or play his Gameboy.

I talked to his dad last night about babysitting because I really see no point in paying a sitter when he’s not working, so we’ve “fired” the sitter. She was being inflexible about cost as he's rarely been there in the morning, instead going directly to school so he can hang out with his friend or go to his classroom and get extra help from his teacher. He thinks he can stay on his own after school now, but I don’t know how comfortable I am about letting him be home alone for 2 hours. I’ll talk to him with his dad tonight after work and see what comes of it.

I think he'd give McCauley Culkin a run for his money...lol...and with Eddie there, nobody would dare mess with him. He makes a HUGE fuss when there's someone at the door and he's got a BIG bark. No one needs to know that he's a big ol' suck...lol

Back to the grind...

Well, the holidays are over & it's back to reality for this workin' girl. I would have worked last week, but instead of paying a sitter to keep my mini-me busy I took some vacation time and stayed home with him. He spent a couple days with my parents in Stratford and got to visit with his cousins which he always enjoys doing; he doesn't get to see them nearly often enough for his liking.

I got to spend some time with my MJ whom I also don't get to see nearly often enough for my liking...but such is the nature of our relationship. If it weren't for email & the phone, I'd go stark raving mad for lack of contact with Him. He had an interesting proposition for me when I saw Him on Thursday, but I can't say anything about it until I know more or He can confirm the details of the proposal...until then, you'll just have to wait to find out! It's big though!!

*grin*

Happy New Year

I can hardly believe we're already a few days into '07...I'm not entirely sure where '06 went in such a hurry!!

Christmas wasn't so bad...but I'm glad the holiday season is over. I'm not fond of crowds and with my mini-me's special handling needs, it's a stressful time for both of us. He's with my parents for a couple days now, so I have a break this week while I'm still off work on vacation time.