It's not easy being me...

Help Wanted

2008-07-15T11:37:00.002-04:00

Friends of mine have recently had to deal with the aftermath of a house fire - the actual fire wasn't in their unit, but the contents of their's are completely ruined by smoke damage.

I'm collecting & arranging for delivery of any goods...furniture, clothing...etc.

Their 3 kids, 2 boys & a girl, are sizes 6x & 14 (the boys) and their daughter is a 7-8.

If you're local to me - London, Ontario - and would like to help, leave me a comment and I'll make arrangements with you to get those things to this family in need.

I really did it

2008-07-13T18:33:00.003-04:00

One month has passed since I quit smoking. I really thought it was going to be much harder than it has been, but with the Champix it's been less difficult than I'd anticipated.

And yeah, I AM really proud of myself...but sometimes it's a struggle so I try to keep it in perspective...I smoked for 23 years, it's been great so far but if I do stumble I just have to get back up and keep right on going. :)

I Quit!

2008-06-02T17:53:00.002-04:00

When I encountered my boss in the hall this morning and told her that my quit date was June 13th, her eyeballs kinda bulged outta her head...*snicker*

I was in to see MaryEllen, my doctor's nurse this morning. She's an ex-smoker...it took having a stroke to convince her to quit, so if she can quit I sure as hell can.

There's a medication out on the market, called Champix. It's supposed to be a wonder drug; works by either blocking the nicotine receptors or some such thing...check the link, there's lots of info.

M.E. said that of 14 she's started on it, 12 have successfully quit.

I'm off to the pharmacy right *now* to pick up my prescription.

Right after I finish this cigarette....LOL

My baby is growing up...but just a little!

2008-04-11T00:18:00.003-04:00

I took Ben to his first concert last night. We went to see Avril Lavigne at the JLC; the opening act was Boys Like Girls - a rockin' boy band. Apparently they're hot...at least according to the young ladies that were standing next to us...I mentioned to them that I'm old enough to be their mother. Eyes got big and jaws dropped just a little...lol

And yeah, standing...we had "general floor admission"...which meant for 3 hours of blaring, bone jarring music (omfg I sound OLD...LOL) that left my ears ringing, we stood. My back & legs were killin' me today, not to mention my hearing was a little off!

Early on, Ben was complaining that he couldn't see (he's only 11 - he's short!) & asked if he could go up to the front closer to the stage - I have no idea how many people were there...but the venue was pretty much full to capacity, save for maaaaaaaaybe 250 of the eleventy thousand seats. While I'm generally pretty protective (think mama bear) of him, I didn't think much could happen what with all the security & crowd control...so I let him go. It was pointless for me to try and keep an eye on him - he was out of my sight instantly like he'd gone into a corn field.

I worry more about those he might encounter than him really - I asked him once (of many conversations we've held on the subject) what he'd do if someone ever tried to take him or touch him inappropriately. His response encouraged me in that he's capable of at least attracting plenty of attention to himself (like I didn't know that...lol) if he found himself in a situation he was having difficulty in controlling...he told me that he'd scream, fight, kick, bite & scratch...whatever! And if that didn't work..."I"d kick him in the balls Mum!" I asked him what he'd do if it was a woman who tried to grab him...and he said..."she'd get one right in the crotch too!" (Hehe...that's my boy! ;) )

At the end of the show, when the house lights came back up I started searching for him...and that's when I got the tap on the shoulder. I turned to face a burly security guard..."are you Christine?" he asked. I nodded and he said that they had Ben - he was ok, but he was worried because he couldn't find me. Ben had told them that we'd gotten separated when I left the floor to go use the bathroom and he just got pushed up through the crowd when security found him and took him under their wings. So the end result was he had his own JLC staffer sitting with him in nearly the best seats in the house watching him while his irresponsible mother had just wandered off! He'd had a grand time dancing his little heart out and wasn't a bit concerned that they hadn't found me...

So...while I'm not ready to send him out into the big, bad world all by his lonesome...I am confident he's growing up to be a capable, self-reliant young man.

RIP

2008-03-19T09:25:00.002-04:00

Sir Arthur Charles Clarke, quite likely the world's best known writer of science fiction passed away peacefully at his home in Colombo, Sri Lanka where he's lived since 1956.

A visionary, he was the first to propose satellite communications in 1945. One of his short stories inspired the World Wide Web, while another was later expanded to make the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey, which he co-wrote with director Stanley Kubrick.

You can see reflections on his 90 orbits around the sun here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qLdeEjdbWE

Rest in peace, Sir Arthur.

Dear Jane...

2008-03-18T23:35:00.004-04:00

Not being a quitter...I thought I'd give another potential suitor a shot.

Dave & I exchanged email back & forth for a few days then set up a coffee date. He'd already proven himself articulate and amusing - two big bonus points in his favour! He picked me up (AND opened my door for me) and we headed to one of about eleventy seven thousand Tim Hortons here in town. Not once were we ever lacking for conversation, whether it was about my life with Ben and work and school, or his with his kids, his separation (for the 2nd time & for good this time?)...anything...it just seemed all very comfortable. After a couple hours he asked if I wanted to get out of there and decided that we'd grab a couple more coffees to go and head back to my place. We continued to talk 'til well into the wee hours - it was like chatting with an old friend that I hadn't seen in a long, long time...

Eventually, when I couldn't help but yawn...he decided it was time for him to go. Eddie (my beastly dog for those of you who'd forgotten) needed to go too...so while I took him out, Dave got his coat & shoes on and when I returned to the house, he gave me a very platonic hug and a quick kiss on the cheek and told me that we'd talk again soon.

I wasn't sure what to make of the hug & peck on the cheek, so the next morning, I sent him an email...just a short note thanking him for the night before...and also to invite him back. I had plans for that evening, but I wasn't expecting to be too late and if he felt like it he could call my cell and we could hook up again after my other engagement. So he did...call, that is...and we got together again.

Just to keep this PG, lets just say...he left with a smile...lol

Turns out he wanted to as much as I did the first night, but he was trying to be a gentleman...awwww!!

Sooooooooooooo...

The following morning, with due diligence I write him an email and in response, I received this:

Hi Chris; I too had a wonderful time as well. Don't know when, though. Today was a disaster. Too much on my separation plate I'm afraid. I have a lot to take care of in the next six weeks.

Our time together has me feeling bad as well. I feel like I have cheated. Got lots of mental and emotional issues to deal with. So Chris, but this is probably the last time I write. Hope you understand. You are a great woman. I am on the rebound I guess, and that is not fair to anyone. Thanks so much for sharing. I really hope I don't hurt your feelings either. Very Sincerely, Dave

I give up...(yeah right lol)

**note to readers - invest in battery stocks...they're about to go up again...you know - Duracell...Everready...

Selfish asshole

2008-03-14T12:57:00.004-04:00

To say that my life is hectic is an understatement on occasion...

I'm a divorced single parent, a full time employee at one of the largest universities in Canada and a part time student at the same university.

I date...infrequently...more often than not, the potential candidates just don't meet my criteria for one reason or another or they'll say something that just sets my teeth on edge and I eliminate them from any possibility of being date-worthy....EVER....lol

One such troll pissed me off today...we've conversed via email off & on over the past couple weeks and while I was leery (much of his email was sexually laden) I thought, well...I'll give him a chance...he's a guy, afterall...*smirk*

That was until this morning when I received an email from him stating "haven't heard from you for few days so i guess you aren't interested..thanks for talking anyways"

Well! I have a life...one that does not revolve around him or any other man except the one I gave birth to almost 12 years ago...so I replied...

"It's always nice to get an email from someone who presumes to know what's going on in my life or in my mind when in fact they have absolutely no fucking clue...

Thank you so much for reinforcing the stereotype of the selfish asshole."

*mental note to self: buy more batteries

yer gonna give me a heart attack kid!

2008-01-31T12:04:00.001-05:00

My son is prone to giving me fits...I swear, he thrives on it...or perhaps it's just the way of children...I seem to recall being a bit challenging when I was his age...*smirk*

It is my custom to call him after 3:30 pm just to make sure he got home ok. He's old enough now that he can be alone after school for a couple hours 'til I get off work. He enjoys the responsibility...and it has done wonders for his confidence as well. On Wednesday's though, I have class in the evening so I have a sitter that will pick him up on her way home from her job and take him home with her 'til I'm done school.

For half an hour straight I tried calling him...to no avail. I called the school to see if he'd been kept behind for some reason, but no. I called his dad to see if he'd gone there instead, but no. I called the sitter on her cell phone and she was on her way to the house but still a ways away so no help yet. In between these other calls I was calling the house again and again and was getting quite frantic stuck here at work, feeling extremely helpless. I called his father again (who drives me NUTS I tell you...I was stuck across town and he was so fucking laid back about shit like this...'oh he's probably just outside with the dog or something'...)

FINALLY - dufus calls me at work - Ben's fine. He couldn't get in the house because the lock was frozen and he couldn't get in. He was quite chilled by the time Nancy got there to pick him up despite being bundled up in his coat. It's been extremely frigid in these parts these past couple days and we'd had some rain on warmer days previous to the extreme cold snap.

So, I get off the phone with my ex and I start bawlin'...my co-worker says go take a walk and breathe...he's ok now Mom...

He knows now, that if something like that ever happens again he's to go to his dad's house which is only a couple blocks from our house.

When I picked him up after class, I told him "I was SO worried about you!" and right away he says "it wasn't my fault!!"...lol

God I love that kid!

I miss you

2008-01-24T18:36:00.000-05:00

My best friend Laura died 25 years ago today.

I was 5 days shy of 13...and it felt like my whole world caved in around me. Indeed, when her mom called to tell me that Laura had been taken to the hospital and it's bad...I collapsed to the floor sobbing, clutching the receiver and that's where my mother found me when she returned home from town. Laura died that night in spite of all heroic measures taken to save her life.

I don't remember when we met...I felt like I knew her forever. Our families attended the same church in Mitchell. We didn't go to kindergarten together; coming from a rural community and living in different townships we alternated days in school. We farm kids went full days to Upper Thames, every other day (and had nap time!) whereas the town kids went half days every day to Mitchell Public. From then on though, we were inseparable...when you saw one of us the other wouldn't be far behind.

I spent many nights at her house...called her parents "mom" & "dad"....she truly was like a sister to me and I miss her every day. I often wonder how different my life would have been had she lived.

Happy New Year

2008-01-01T12:44:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year folks!

My celebration was personal and reflective.

Ok, so it was my year with the boy and he was in bed by 10 pm....I stayed up playing Scrabulous online (via Facebook).

Ayup...I sure know how to have a good time. ;)

I think I'll go shovel snow...I've been inspired by the god damned plow guy and an insatiable need for Timmies.

Avril * * * aid

2007-12-08T14:01:00.000-05:00

Ben's big present this year is tickets to see Avril Lavigne in April at the JLC here in London.

He's got a thing for her...lol...it's cute - but he was some pissed when she got married! ;)

I'll be sure to have the camera ready to capture the moment he opens that gift.

* * *

I made a little difference today...

I was out on a run to Timmies as is per my usual Saturday morning routine and on my way home I saw someone struggling as they walked...with a cane...juggling a bag of groceries & a large bag of dog food. Every couple of steps he’d stumble or slip - the sidewalks are not very well cleared of snow and it was plainly evident that he has difficulty in the best conditions - he'd lose hold of his parcels again and have to readjust his load.

I was nearing my corner and couldn't stop right there but I couldn’t in all good conscience pull into my driveway and leave him either so I turned around and went back to offer him a ride. He told me that some old guy laughed at him as he left the grocery store but didn’t think to offer him conveyance. Even as I drove past him minutes before I watched dozens of cars fly by him and you could read his body language...shoulders drooped...looking around to see if anyone was going to stop.

He told me I made his day...and I gently corrected him and said no...you made MY day by being there so I could help you.

I usually only pick up 2 coffees...I nuke the second one later, but today I was compelled to get a third...I’m sure he’s happily enjoyed that coffee even if it wasn't exactly to his taste. He was grateful.

No big deal really...5 minutes of my time and $1.58 for a coffee.

The smile on his face was priceless.

Silly me, I didn't get his name but of course I know where he lives. I'm going to take him a Christmas card later. I also noticed he doesn't have a winter tip on his cane...they're not expensive so I'll grab one of those as well.

Now...where was I?

2007-11-29T11:25:00.000-05:00

Yikes! It's been a while since I've posted. I've been buried under a mountain of work, school and the neverending adventure with B (har har).

The migraine saga seems to be settled...folr the moment. Finally, after YEARS of fighting to get my NEEDS met, the University & HR have designated my office space & the immediate area a "scent free zone". Of course they've used all sorts of "soft" words like "in consideration" & "please refrain from" coz you know they don't want to offend anyone or disturb them...

WTF????

I have suffered from migraine headaches for as long as I can remember, and ever since I started at my current job (10 years and counting), I have been suckin' it up and just taking it because I thought I had to (not to mention any self-esteem issues, ie...I'm not worthy). It wasn't until my family doctor finally got as frustrated as I am since nobody at work seemed to be taking my issues seriously, and filed a WSIB claim on my behalf. It was her intention to force their hand...and they have ammended their methodology...or at the very least it's a start!

They're baaaaaack!

2007-09-13T11:46:00.000-04:00

The new term has begun. All the little kiddies are moved into rez and swarming the campus. I've only been asked for directions on how to get to such & such a building...or classroom about a hundred times...lol

My first (& only for this term) class started last night; Poli sci 020. The prof, Nigmendra Narain or Nig as he's commonly known is a dynamic, enthusiastic and engaging personality. He was given the Angela Armitt award for teaching in 2006 which was voted on by his students. That in itself spoke volumes to me and was one of several reasons why I chose to take his class.

I'm very excited about school...and eventually earning a degree in social work....something I've wanted to do since I can remember.

to camp or not to camp

2007-08-14T11:55:00.000-04:00

My friend's dad is ill and he needs to find a caretaker like yesterday. His mum is worn to a frazzle; I know the look, I've seen it on both my grandmothers' faces before they conceded they could no longer provide their husbands' care at home alone, even with a daily nurse visit and he's swamped with business so he can't be there 24/7 as much as he'd like to be. He has to provide himself with an income in order to live and fund his projects.

I'm on holidays for 2 weeks. I would gladly pinch hit for him, if he'll accept my offer. It will give him some breathing room and I could actually do the search and hiring of my replacement as well so he's free of that burden too.

I'm supposed to go camping with about 150 other people this weekend...I look forward to this event all year and it's the only real holiday I take for *me*. There are no children at this venue.

He's done so much for me...this little thing, I can do for him...

Harry Potter

2007-07-20T23:22:00.000-04:00

The movie was grrrrreat! We *just* got in though – sold out – we got the LAST seats...had to sit right up front and craned our necks up to watch it, but I enjoyed it none the less.

I saved $10 on one admission with my freebie, but I still spent $30 – thieving bastards...$20 for 2 “regular” bags of popcorn & soft drinks...there goes my entertainment budget LOL

B was gigglin’ ‘til I tucked him in and then some. He knows how much I dislike snakes and all things creepy crawly so he takes complete advantage of the situation if there’s a snake or something similarly slimy in the movie...he was hissing like a snake and wiggling his hands back and forth like snakes slithers...

Oh and just as there’s snake is slithering across the screen...he leans into me and says..."wouldn’t it be freaky if something crawled over your feet right now?”

Little bugger!

Gotta love his sense of humour...brilliant!

political science & stuff

2007-07-09T10:45:00.000-04:00

I've registered for my first course. I decided on political science as my first class and I'm really excited about it! It's been 11 years since I was in school, so it's not a terribly difficult course but enough to keep me interested and challenged.

I ran a yard sale with my friend Ruben for the past two weekends, so I'm lacking in sleep & good humour...I'm not planning on doing anything strenuous this weekend coming, so hopefully things will stay "quiet".

I had to take the dog to the vet on Saturday - he's been limping and licking his left paw. I thought he'd picked up some glass or a splinter, but no...not my Eddie! He's got a yeast infection in the skin in between the pads of his paw. First his ear, now his paw...I wonder what that dog is doing when I'm not home...LOL

Ben was at Camp Bimini last week. He had a great time and would love to go back for another week, but it's not financially feasible and the camps are all full anyhow.

I hope everyone is keeping well and staying cool in this heat & humidity!

June...already!

2007-06-04T10:43:00.000-04:00

I'm not entirely sure where the month of May went...it simply flew by!

I've become a victim of facebook...lol...I'm thoroughly addicted to it!

I found my niece on it...which is excellent. I don't get to talk to my sister much because her husband is a dufus and doesn't like my family.....so we stay away to keep the peace for her. But, I found out this weekend from my niece that my sister has breast cancer...and I'm terribly frightened for her. She's been through all kinds of tests & scans; she's had a lumpectomy and is awaiting word on what treatment she'll have next, i.e., chemo, radiation...but it's dependant on results she'll be receiving on Thursday. The doctors found "something" on her leg during a bone scan...and maybe I know enough about medicine for it to scare me...if the cancer has metastasized already, the road ahead of her will be a long, painful one.

I'm not religiously inclined...but even I'm praying for her...

Long, long weekend

2007-05-17T12:35:00.000-04:00

I booked tomorrow off work and since Monday is a stat. holiday, I have a 4 day weekend coming up and I can't friggin' wait!! lol

I'm having dinner with one of my most favourite people on Saturday. We sorta lost track of one another unfortunately for a couple years it seems, but we've been doing some quick catching up. So, when he announced that he's determined to go for some awesome Dim Sum on Saturday in Mississauga, it didn't take me long to bow out of some previously made plans to commit to joining him & whomever else decides to come as well.

OUAC has cashed my cheque for application fees....one step closer to becoming a university student!!

back to school

2007-04-28T09:33:00.000-04:00

I've finally decided that I don't want to sit in the same mundane job for the rest of my life...therefore, I am going back to school!

Hopefully, starting in September, I will begin the long road to completing my degree in social work.

I say long road because I will have to do it part time. I can't afford to quit the mundane job coz I still have to put food on the table...not to mention keeping the roof over said table!

If I were a fresh out of highschool grad, I would do 2 years at main, then in the 3rd & 4th years I'd be at King's which is an affiliate of Western, not part of...but my degree will be confered by Western - it's confusing...anyhow...

I have a meeting with the mature student advisor on the 9th and from there I guess I'll get transcripts together - I should probably order them now to facilitate the process...to find out what transfer and/or life experience credits I'm entitled to. I'd like to start in September, but if not there's always January admissions.

I guess there is something to being older when you go back to school...I wonder if I can apply for extra credit in human relations....LMAO

Ben thinks that's just crazy talk...lol...he can't wait to get out of school - at least for now. I am hoping that someday he'll see the true value of a good education and stick with it or, do as I am, and return at a later date.

Happy Easter leadfoot

2007-04-09T09:14:00.000-04:00

Fuck! I got a $40 speeding ticket in Stratford yesterday. Happy fuckin' Easter indeed. He nailed me in a fishing hole by the hospital on John Street. One can't help but accelerate because you're going DOWNHILL...but I WAS applying the brake, hell if I hadn't, it would have been way worse. He was kinda snippy with me, so I just said hey...I'm not going to argue with you, you're the one with the gun, I was just stating my position. Then I made him come back to the car because I gave him the wrong proof of insurance...rofl Anyhow...prick stuck me with a speeding ticket...and made a point of telling me about my responsibility to control my vehicle and that he'd given me a big break (he dropped it from 70 to 50 in a 40) to which I finally responded, I *know* and appreciate that, however...I've lived in and around Stratford long enough to know that you guys fish this particular hole and I find it absolutely unfair. I contend I was applying the brake and that my increased speed was due to inertia, not spite - I saw you sitting at the dock with your hook in the water.

And then Ben says...."what's inertia??"

Cop didn't reply to me or Ben....he just handed me the ticket and went back to his cruiser...lol

We carried on to Mum & Dad's where much noise and merriment was had when the crew finally got home from church after a 2 hour service (yoikes!); we were going there, but because of the cop...we were delayed and I was NOT walking into a jam-packed church 20 minutes late! The crew consisted of Mum, Dad, 3 brothers & their families (minus 1 sister-in-law who was working), Grandma and Kate - the Rotary exchange student from South Africa.

WAY too much chocolate; I'm paying for it today, I have a massive migraine.

Dufus picked Ben up at 4 to go to his parents' in Mitchell for supper....lol....from one gathering to another - the kid'll be exhausted!

Kate's funny...she was talking to her brother on msn and she was telling him how my Mum is a "bit of a Feminist" and in the Canadian Women's Federation and that my Dad does all the cooking, cleaning & laundry...to which her brother replied..."Daaaaaad....you'd better bring Kate home quick!!"

Having grown up on a farm, it's funny for me to see how drastically the roles have reversed for them....now mind you, Dad's "retired" and they live in town now...they sold the farm 15 years ago or so. He's still very active - either babysitting grandkids or volunteer driving for the church and in the spring & fall, he often works for a local farmer to help out at planting & harvesting.

a pause for a passionate cause

2007-03-23T12:32:00.000-04:00

I was having a discussion about what a very dear friend of mine does for a living.

My friend is a "fixer"...

He does a lot of things, but more often than not, one can find him buried in a deal that he is doing that will enable him to do good works. For the good of people. It's not about the bottom line or lining his pockets, his concern is that he's helping the defenseless, weak and down-trodden. That is the culmination of his life's work - the driving force...making money is only the means to an end...

Don't get me wrong - he enjoys the comforts of an easy life as much as the next person, but he can't in all good conscience ignore what goes on in the world...he can't silence the voices...he can't quiet what he feels...

Billions of dollars have been poured into this so called "war on terrorism" and yet millions of people around the globe are still starving to death. We still have people living on the streets and there are thousands of children in Canada and the US going to bed hungry at night because they live below the poverty level despite their parents working full time or 2 or 3 jobs.

I'm passionate about his cause - not simply because of what he means to me, but because it is the right thing to do.

Soul Searching

2007-02-25T02:15:00.000-05:00

"In general, you are attracted to individuals with very strong personalities and eccentric people. But you have to realize that behind this attraction lies a very strong need of freedom, Christine. In your life, freedom is more a fantasy than a reality! The time has come for you to do some soul searching. Try not to hide from the realities of your life!"

I don't usually hold much stock in horoscopes but sometimes I swear someone is in my head or stalking me and writing these horoscopes just for me...lol...none the less, currently in my life I think it's very apropos...

Someone who commands respect...who inspires me to do my best and to always make my very best efforts, is the type of person I am immediately attracted to. In their embrace I am as meek as a kitten...purring...content...sated...

Someone who demands respect...that talks down to me...that belittles my opinion or mocks my standards, I have no time for. In their grip I am a caged tiger...pacing...impatient..restless..

If you have no patience to teach me...to truly understand me...then you're not balanced and can't fully understand the needs of others.

It's about power exchange...not wrenching it from my grasp...

Give and take...

Yin & yang...

I know and fully accept that I am a strong willed and opinionated person....but hey, opinions are like assholes...everybody's got one.

But when I am with my One....my need for freedom will be met because He inspires me to soar like an eagle...

Soul searching...I've been doing a fair amount of that in recent days...but I've always been rather introspective.

I think it's called navel gazing ;)

Reality bites, eh?...lol

random memory...flashback lol

2007-02-24T22:43:00.000-05:00

20 years ago...underaged (rofl) Eddie's bar in St. Ratford

I remember pitching a beer bottle down a flight of about 10 steps at a buddy of mine...just because he flipped me off.

I hit what I was aiming for...the floor at his feet...I didn't want to hurt him just up'd the anty...and I made my point to him loud and clear...

Unfortunately Blaine the manager was standing there talking to him when I did it so I got booted for the night...that guy had no sense of humour...lmao

But hey...what's one night of lost boozin'? Not that it was lost, we probably just get bootleg booze from Bonesy. My liver would probably have thanked me if I'd just not had a drink one night.

jealousy

2007-02-24T22:17:00.000-05:00

I told someone tonight that I don't do jealousy. That it serves no one and only damages, it does no good.

That wasn't always the case. Quite the contrary, believe you me....lol

If someone tried to take something that was MINE...they'd be spittin' teeth. Ok, so I'm not that violent (any more) but I was a mean, possessive, jealous, unreasonable bitch when it came to thatwhichbelongedtome...or so I perceived it to be. I was just a very unhappy person in those days too though and thought I'd find the answers in the bottom of a vodka bottle or f*d up on whatever...

But that's a whole 'nother dozen or so blog entries alone and I'd have to change names to protect the not so innocent...lol

It wasn't until very recently, I finally learned the lesson that he's been trying to teach me 'lo these past 4 years.

I cannot posses anyone anymore than I myself can be possessed, but I can share and embrace and enjoy my life...such as it is.

I can make life happen, instead of waiting for it to happen to me.

Bad Car-ma

2007-02-23T11:43:00.000-05:00

In the space of less than 24 hours, 2 friends have had "accidents" with their vehicles.

MJ was on his way home from Toronto on business and stopped in for coffee yesterday afternoon - we had a nice but short visit coz he wanted to get on the road home due to the weather. I tried to persuade him to stay, but he was determined to get home. He called me from Lucan which, in ideal conditions, takes no more than 20 minutes to drive to...it took him an hour and a half. He was stuck there because the OPP had the highway closed by then so he grabbed a book from the variety store and went to sit in the Timmies parking lot - can't smoke indoors anywhere anymore...unless of course, you're in your own home. However, MJ being MJ, he got antsy and decided he was going to make a run for it...so he snuck out of town onto a backroad and yup, you guessed it...he plowed it into a snowbank. He was out with the MTO this morning and their payloader to find it before their plows blasted through the drifts and consequently his vehicle...it took about half an hour to actually find it and when they did, it was in about 30 feet and covered in about 10 inches of snow. He said there was so much snow under the hood, he could hardly find the battery...

My second friend with bad car-ma was trying to find a gas leak on his car when it suddenly...POOF...up it went up in flames. He's off to rent a car now coz his is basically a burnt out skeleton from the firewall up...

I told him he shouldn't have been using his lighter to find the gas leak...lolol...

He wasn't really, but I do so enjoy winding him up - it's so easy to do!!

Snurfling

2007-02-21T19:28:00.000-05:00

I've been off work since Friday with this god awful cold...and to top it off, my computer has been giving me major grief so I can barely keep myself entertained while I'm home.

It does all sorts of odd things; like rebooting spontaneously, freezing up on me so *I* have to reboot and a kernal stack error...whatever the hell that is...

Anyhow...today I took it apart, sucked all the fuzzies (yes, I smoke...and we have the infamous Eddie-beast who sheds like crazy - short haired dog...who'd-a-thunk it??) out with the vacuum...got ambitious & took the cpu fan out too...it was NASTY...lol...but I cleaned it up & put it all back together. Seems to be running ok now for the time being...but it really needs to have the fan replaced asap. With the new hard drive installed as well, I should probably get some geekspertise from Rob at work to come over and sort things out properly.

On a fantasmically great note...my MJ is coming over for a visit tomorrow!!!!

Barring any emergencies of course...with my luck...there'll be one......but I'm owed a whuppin' for passing this cold onto him...

Oops...not my fault he was tryin' to suck my tonsils out!! LOL

I aged 10 years in a matter of hours...

2007-01-30T18:45:00.000-05:00

I don't think I've ever felt such a fear...

I had been trying to reach dufus (mini-me's father) ALL day, home & cell phone...I didn't know what, if any, arrangements he'd made for my mini-me for after school; yes, I assumed that he would be there for him after school as nothing different was relayed to me. When I couldn't reach dufus at either number, I finally called security at the theatre where he was working, and the person I spoke to went to find him and have him call me back at work. When he called it was then that I found out that he hadn't made any arrangements but assumed I had because he claims he told me that he was working 'til after school was out. I was in an absolute panic...I had tried several people...but to no avail and then I have to sit there and listen to him give ME hell because he fucked up?????

Anyhow...it turned out my mini-me knew where the spare key was and let himself into his dad's house. His father got an earful and I let the tears go finally.

I'm all better now...my mini-me got a big hug & he asked me what that was for. I told him I was so scared when I didn't know where he was!!

38

2007-01-29T14:08:00.000-05:00

It's my birthday today...I'm 38 years old.

Occasionally I feel every bit of my 38 years...sometimes even more...lol...but today I don't feel 38.

All 3 of my brothers were summer babies, which is understandable. We were raised on a farm and their conceptions would have coincided with the end of harvest...I sure would like to know what was happening at the end of April in 1968...lol

Or maybe I don't wanna know...

My MJ told me..."fuck you're getting old!!"...to which I replied, "yeah but I'll *never* be as old as you..."

I'm gonna pay for that, but he deserved it...lol

I miss him like crazy...he's off on business this week, returning Saturday - in Toronto for a few days, then off to Texas & Mexico after that.

The Riot Act

2007-01-19T19:53:00.000-05:00

Dr. M read us the riot act at Ben's appointment this morning.

I fully admit that he's been getting away with a lot and change is not going to come easily, but it's only to his benefit.

So starting Monday, from 4:30-5:30 there will be no electronic, battery, plug in, solar powered or otherwise type piece of equipment in use by him. For that hour, he must study or do homework.

Period.

I dropped him off at school and I was no sooner ensconced at my desk at work and the principal was on the phone. Ben's stomach hurt. He's "sick" so he can't stay at school.

I didn't think he'd balk quite so quickly...lol

Awesomeness

2007-01-11T11:05:00.000-05:00

My mini-me has bloomed socially...

Because of his issues with ADHD & ODD, making and especially keeping friends has always been a major roadblock for him. Being someone who was constantly picked on for her weight, wearing glasses, being a bookworm, etc as a youngster, I felt his pain so very deeply. I've always known that he's really a sweet, considerate child and a champion of the underdog deep down inside despite his "disabilities". He has always stuck up for those smaller/younger/different than him, or when someone's being bullied, he's often the first to jump in and help them out...even when it gets him into trouble.

Lately though, he's been making a concerted effort to get himself up and ready to go to school and put the dog out in the morning so he can take part in the Breakfast Club and hang out with his friend Eric, whose Mom often volunteers there.

It's really a beautiful thing to see him coming out of his shell...

Home alone

2007-01-10T09:29:00.000-05:00

My mini-me is 10. I've started leaving him on his own for short periods of time coz he doesn't care for shopping or anything that doesn't interest him (imagine that - a child that's self absorbed - no, really!) and would just rather stay home and watch TV or play his Gameboy.

I talked to his dad last night about babysitting because I really see no point in paying a sitter when he’s not working, so we’ve “fired” the sitter. She was being inflexible about cost as he's rarely been there in the morning, instead going directly to school so he can hang out with his friend or go to his classroom and get extra help from his teacher. He thinks he can stay on his own after school now, but I don’t know how comfortable I am about letting him be home alone for 2 hours. I’ll talk to him with his dad tonight after work and see what comes of it.

I think he'd give McCauley Culkin a run for his money...lol...and with Eddie there, nobody would dare mess with him. He makes a HUGE fuss when there's someone at the door and he's got a BIG bark. No one needs to know that he's a big ol' suck...lol

Back to the grind...

2007-01-08T10:21:00.000-05:00

Well, the holidays are over & it's back to reality for this workin' girl. I would have worked last week, but instead of paying a sitter to keep my mini-me busy I took some vacation time and stayed home with him. He spent a couple days with my parents in Stratford and got to visit with his cousins which he always enjoys doing; he doesn't get to see them nearly often enough for his liking.

I got to spend some time with my MJ whom I also don't get to see nearly often enough for my liking...but such is the nature of our relationship. If it weren't for email & the phone, I'd go stark raving mad for lack of contact with Him. He had an interesting proposition for me when I saw Him on Thursday, but I can't say anything about it until I know more or He can confirm the details of the proposal...until then, you'll just have to wait to find out! It's big though!!

*grin*

Happy New Year

2007-01-03T12:19:00.000-05:00

I can hardly believe we're already a few days into '07...I'm not entirely sure where '06 went in such a hurry!!

Christmas wasn't so bad...but I'm glad the holiday season is over. I'm not fond of crowds and with my mini-me's special handling needs, it's a stressful time for both of us. He's with my parents for a couple days now, so I have a break this week while I'm still off work on vacation time.

bah humbug

2006-12-13T11:15:00.000-05:00

Maybe i'll just have a kevorkian christmas...it's not like anybody would notice anyhow...

I'm not ready to make nice...

2006-12-07T11:30:00.000-05:00

I love the Dixie Chicks - even before their trouble with the Shrub their opinions were deemed controversial with the release of "Goodbye Earl" which spoke of spousal abuse and their apparent condoning of the song's solution - making Earl disappear.

They are three amazingly talented women who happen to have benefit of a large audience to whom they can voice their collective opinions. I love that they have the moral backbone & intestinal fortitude to stand up for what they believe in and not cave into popular opinion.

Their lives were threatened, their music blacklisted, radio airtime denied, cd burning parties organized and yet they persevered.

As the political tide turns and more of our Nations' children come home in body bags with no end of battle in sight, I wonder...

When will the truth finally come out?

I am in no way against those men and women engaged in battle - they are following orders. I only hope and pray that they come home safely, but I know many will not.

Tomorrow another little boy will ask his mother, "when is Daddy coming home?" and she'll have to tell him he's not because a mortar attack killed him and 3 of is buddies...another little girl will grow up not knowing all the things her young mother thought she would have time to share with her because another suicide bomber took her life and the lives of many others in that crowded market square.

No, I'm not ready to make nice...

Oh my aching head...

2006-11-24T13:59:00.000-05:00

Yanno...we try to safeguard our children from hurting themselves...

But who's gonna look after us? lol

The other day, I was moving a dresser and bent over to unplug the phone and I promptly whacked my head on the window sill.

I still have a bit of a goose egg but thankfully it's hidden by my hair...coz I feel kinda dumb...lol

Not something I reccommend...especially when I was down this week with a migraine for 2 days!

Can I lick yer nipple?

2006-11-14T11:38:00.000-05:00

My dog has a fascination with nekkid flesh.

He licks ankles, fingers, hands, arms, face...anything that happens to be exposed. The other night, K & I were sitting at the table smokin' a fattie and Eddie was pestering to be petted and was licking K's hand, who was sitting there shirtless. So when K put his hands up to avoid the licking...Eddie did what comes naturally...and licked up his belly and up across his nipple.

I tell ya...I nearly fell off the chair laughing...

Maybe ya had to be there...

Loss

2006-11-13T09:57:00.000-05:00

I was in early today. My co-worker's father passed away late last week so I'm working for her and in again early tomorrow instead of my usual 9-5. Her father wasn't well for some time, and as sad as it is, it's a blessing when the ones we love go on to a better place and are free from pain and suffering.

The rest weekend was a blur...my MJ came to play on Friday, Saturday was a party in Guelph and yesterday was a snoozing day...

In response to an email that I'd sent to my MJ, thanking him for noticing my weight loss efforts when he was over on Friday, he replied that it is indeed noticeable and encouraged me to keep it up. This has...in fact, it's encouraging me to pick up the pace a little. I didn't put the weight on overnight, it's certainly not going to come off that easily either.

Alyssa lies...

2006-11-09T11:10:00.000-05:00

Below are the lyrics to a new song out on country radio...the first time I heard it, I couldn't see for the tears.

Child abuse is never ok - anyone that knows about a situation where a child is being abused and does nothing are not much better than those who are abusive.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ALYSSA LIES

My little girl met a new friend,
just the other day,
on the playground at school
between the tires and the swings

But she came home with tear-filled eyes,
and she said to me "Daddy, Alyssa lies"

Well I just brushed it off at first,
'cause I didn't know how much my little girl had been hurt
or the things she had seen.
I wasn't ready when I said "You can tell me"

and she said...

"Alyssa lies to the classroom,
Alyssa lies everyday at school,
Alyssa lies to the teachers
as she tries to cover every bruise"

My little girl laid her head down that night to go to sleep.
As I stepped out the room, I heard her say a prayer so soft and sweet
"God bless my mom and my Dad
and my new friend, Alyssa
*oh*I know she needs you bad

Because Alyssa lies to the classroom,
Alyssa lies everyday at school,
Alyssa lies to the teachers
as she tries to cover every bruise"

I had the worst night of sleep in years
as I tried to think of a way to calm her fears
I knew just what it was I had to do *I knew exactly what I had to do*
but when we got to school on Monday I heard the news

My little girl asked me why everybody looked so sad
the lump in my throat grew bigger
with every question that she asked.
Until I felt the tears run down my face
and I told her that Alyssa wouldn't be at school today

'Cause she doesn't lie in the classroom
she doesn't lie anymore at school
Alyssa lies with Jesus
because there's nothin' anyone would do

Tears filled my eyes when my little girl asked me why
Alyssa lies
*Oh Daddy, oh* Daddy tell me why
Alyssa lies...

Unappreciated

2006-11-08T11:05:00.000-05:00

When you're a minion under multiple layers of excess management, it's rare that your opinion gets counted...or at least that's how I feel in my current position.

Top that off with a healthy dose of your typical lack of appreciation for all things good provided to the spawn, life can be downright bitter pill to swallow...

But when someone who's supposedly a friend treats you poorly, then seemingly has the audacity to just ignore the situation after it's been rather pointedly brought to their attention, it's absolutely defeating.

I don't like confrontation...I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. So I take it and take it until it hurts too much...

But what about me? Should I be forced to endure such behaviour?

Shouldn't I be treated with more respect and also with gratitude for what it is I share of myself?
I don't have much, but what I do have, I share willingly and without complaint or resentment.

But I don't feel willing and complaint-free and that's what has me upset about the situation more than anything.

I strive to be more like my MJ - but some days, it's just really hard to turn the other cheek and keep giving...

Bumper Cars

2006-11-07T10:43:00.000-05:00

On my way into work this morning, an idiot cab driver pulled right out in front of me from a side street. I tried to avoid hitting him by pulling over to the left lane, but the jackass pulled right over in front of me and I had no where to go. I hit the brakes but given the wet roads this morning from rain I just slid right into his back end.

I'm ok physically, but my nerves are kinda iffy still...I think the car is ok too, but I'm a little short of cash right now, so I can't even afford to have it looked at by my dealership. I'll just have to be vigilant for any problems.

There was a cop a few cars back who witnessed it…thank god! By the time he got his cruiser pulled up, the cabbie was already taking a verbal beating from me…lol I was well into ripping him a new one, so the cop just stood back and chuckled. The cab driver was going on and on about how it was totally his fault, that he’d never done anything so foolish and he knew he was wrong…blah blah blah…

I asked if I was needed any longer at the scene as I was going to be late for work now. The officer told me I could go, that if he needed to get in touch, he had my contact info…I hope he charges the fucker!!!!!

A plethora of chocolate

2006-11-03T23:24:00.000-05:00

Hallowe'en ghouls & goblins were scarce in our neck of the woods.

The haunted house over on St. Julien took care of that. Houses on the streets around the HH were cleaned out by 7pm...meanwhile, we had only half a dozen critters come to our house.

This chocolate phenomena has resulted in longer walks.

The dog is happy...LOL

Body image

2006-10-26T09:21:00.000-04:00

One third of girls Grades Nine to Twelve think they're too fat and not pretty enough.

From this article I was reading, expert Toronto psychiatrist and broadcaster Dr. Irvine Wolkoff says "The phenomenon is hateful, up until the mid-sixties women were full-figured. It all started with Twiggy, whose "concentration camp prettiness" was initially greeted with horror. But somehow, that became the model of modern feminine beauty. Twiggy's success, plus the fact that all clothing looks good on really skinny women has given us two generations whose ideal of feminine beauty is based on skinniness, but bony, boyish women do not constitute normal ideals of feminine beauty."

I know I'll never be a size 2...but I'm working hard at losing the excess weight I've been carrying for too many years and it's a battle every day. So it's difficult for me to understand the mindset of someone who stands in front of a mirror, emaciated, starving themselves, sticking their fingers down their throats to make themselves vomit up any miniscule amount of food they've ingested and still think they're fat.

I just don't get it...

Just 5 more minutes Mom...

2006-10-20T11:12:00.000-04:00

My friend Kjeld is staying with us while he's working in town - he's going home for the weekend, but having him here has been a reminder of what it was like to be married...

And frankly, it's reminded me again of why I enjoy being single!!

I love him to pieces, don't get me wrong...but I'm used to my space, of not having to answer to anyone and not having to bust my hump for someone else other than me & my mini-me.

This morning he got up & had his shower before I did - that wasn't the problem - it was the 2 minute reminders that it was time to get up that started to get to me...lol

So after about the 5th reminder I grunted at him from under the covers..."just 5 more minutes Mom!". Now, that didn't stop him from buggin' me to get up...but it sure made him giggle.

To my favourite teenage refugee

2006-10-16T12:02:00.000-04:00

I wish you could see yourself through the eyes that those of us who care about you do.

You are beautiful, intelligent, talented and creative.

You bring joy and light to the lives of many people and your capacity for caring is limitless.

Little children delight in your presence and the adults around you are amazed by your resilience.

We love you!

More random cuteness

2006-10-09T14:43:00.000-04:00

Boo!

Very scary!...lol

Learned skills

2006-10-09T14:21:00.000-04:00

On a friend's blog, a new mom wonders when to introduce things, like utensils, to her small guy...
This got me thinking of my mini-me and a picture I knew I had somewhere...

Eating is HARD work for a little fella!

Snippy

2006-10-03T22:13:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I can be a little snippy...

No really...

I *hate* that tone I know I get...I get defensive when my feelings have been hurt and I tend to lash out at the ones I love the most. They certainly don't deserve my ire, and more often than not, are not the root cause of my 'tude...

Hell, it doesn't really matter what he could have said to me tonight, I'd probably have been pissy with him anyhow.

I'm sorry Daddy. :(

On being prepared...

2006-09-30T15:11:00.000-04:00

A letter came home from school with my mini-me. A tentative date of October 16 has been set for the IPRC meeting to take place at his school. I spent most of the evening last night pouring over print-outs from the computer on his disorders (not that I haven't already, so most of it was a refresher), his needs and rights, academically and behaviourally, information on the IPRC process, the school's obligations academically and provisions for behavioural issues.

Notes that I took from all these sources take up 6 pages of handwritten notes that I'll have to organize, condense and prioritize.

I've asked the liaison from CPRI to join us if she can. We have a session with his psychiatrist and I have an appointment our family doctor before the meeting takes place. So I'm confident I'll have my ducks in a row and go in armed and ready.

Breakfast sex...

2006-09-28T13:46:00.000-04:00

She was in the kitchen doing the boiled eggs for breakfast. He walks in and asks "What's for breakfast?"

She turns to him and says, "You've got to make love to me this very moment"

He, thinking it's his lucky day, stands her over the kitchen table and they have sex.

Afterwards he says, "What was that all about?"

She says, "The egg timer's broken."

Round Two

2006-09-27T10:42:00.000-04:00

I heard from JFCY really quickly! A lawyer from their organization got back to me before 2pm yesterday!

On her advice, I've written the school a letter (and sent it by courier - same day delivery) to request that an IPRC (Identification, Placement and Review Committee) be formed to have my mini-me formally identified as an "exceptional" student.

I already think he's exceptional, but I'm somewhat biased. ;)

The school has no choice but to comply, refusing to do so is not only highly unethical, it's illegal for them to ignore the request.

Progress!

2006-09-26T11:00:00.000-04:00

I contacted Justice for Children and Youth today. They're a non-profit organization that provides legal representation to low-income children and youth in Toronto and vicinity; a legal aid clinic that specializes in protecting the rights of those facing conflicts with the legal system, education, social service or mental health systems; giving legal advice, information and assistance to young people, parents (in education matters), professionals and community groups across Ontario.

I briefly explained our situation to the delightful woman that answered the phone and she said she'd pass our information on to someone in my area and that they'd be in touch today or tomorrow.

Wow! If only I'd known about this organization ages ago!

The battle rages on...

2006-09-23T17:03:00.000-04:00

My son's academic career has been somewhat of a battle given his ADHD & ODD. I've had to fight for every little bit of assistance he's given even though by rights, it supposedly his for the taking. As long as all parties involved, i.e., the psychologist that wrote the initial report that identified his diagnoses, the psychiatrist he's currently in treatment with, the school (inclusively, the learning support teacher, his class teacher, the principal & vice principal), his father & I are all on the same page.

Currently, I am trying to get an accurate & complete IEP (individualized educational plan) in place for my mini-me and a half-hearted, woefully inadequate effort was presented to me earlier this week. The recommendation that he be put on an IEP came down in February 2005 when Dr. G did her psychological assessment, defining his diagnoses as ADHD and ODD, with a reading disability and possibly a writing disability; but she couldn't definitively prove the writing disability because she couldn't get him to produce enough written work...ummmm...doesn't that tell you something????????

The school is miles from where I'd like them to be, but somewhat in their defense, they're not entirely at fault. I know our schools need a major overhauling. Kids aren't learning effectively and children like my son are falling through the cracks and often end up as highschool dropouts. Everybody complains that the schools are failing our children, but nobody seems to be doing anything about it. The collective faculties of education & teacher's colleges across Canada and the United States continue to churn out teachers overwhelmingly unprepared for today's issues, using teaching modules that haven't evolved since God knows when.

The Cone of Humiliation

2006-09-18T20:11:00.000-04:00

Eddie got fixed on Friday (Bob Barker says, "have your pets spayed or neutered!")...

He has to wear this for the next 10 days...

LOL...pooooor puppy!

Mondays suck most of the time...

2006-09-11T20:38:00.000-04:00

And today was turning out no better...

But then I got mail!

DADDY'S HOME!!

*big cheesy grin*

Misquoted & maligned...ah the morons of the world abound

2006-09-06T13:54:00.000-04:00

So the other day I was reading Ms Matisse's blog and she directed her readers to have a peek at Renegade Evolution's "Guide to dealing with men...".

In my opinion, it was a well written and very funny post...others didn't think it was all that funny and both sides voiced their opinions in MM's comments.

Not being one to step back from a challenge (think: bull in a china shop) when the OP's opinion was maligned, I put my 2 cents in.

It's Renegade's opinion and her right to voice it, especially in HER blog!!

The whole point, which the dissenters seemed to have completely missed, was that the post in question was meant to be humourous.

Rather than continue to invade MM's blog comments (again m'Lady...my most sincere apologies for invading your space) where I was misquoted and maligned, I've invited those that wish to have a civilized "discussion" here in mine.

We'll see if anyone has the cojones to show up.

Bring it!

Btw, qt's absolute statement that "mirogynist" is in fact a word and *cough* commonly known at that...is a load of bullshit. I've searched and searched and searched and NOT found a single source. Perhaps qt could enlighten us with that source. I did however, search for a term that does represent "man-hating" as qt accused Renegade Evolution of doing - and that would be "misandrist".

If you're going to put something in print and aren't 100% sure of its origin or meaning, do your homework before putting it out there.

Having people think you're a fool and proving it to them are two entirely different entities.

Much better & movin' in

2006-09-04T17:43:00.000-04:00

Eddie's much better. He's weight bearing well on the injured leg and barely limping at all. He's back to dragging me on walks, though not nearly as aggressively as he usually does and he really doesn't care for taking the antibiotic pills at all, so I have to kinda shove it halfway down his throat in order to get it into him...lol

Yesterday & today were residence move-in days at UWO. While my *real* job is at Western, I work for Primus on these two days, signing the students up for long distance plans. It's not hard work, but most of these kids are leaving home for the first time (some are just 16!!) and they're overwhelmed with a plethora of information, forms to fill out, places to go, things to do, people to see, events to attend...and that's just "O-week". Once classes start, the real challenges begin for them to get accustomed to life without Mommy & Daddy doing everything for them. Most of the long distance charges are incurred in the first month of school...once they get used to being away from home and on their own, the calls dwindle to once or twice a month...if that...lol

I must say, the Housing dept. does a fantastic job of organizing the whole shebang. Over 4000 1st year students move into residence over the 2 day period, beginning at 8am and going until 4pm each day. It runs like a well oiled machine...mind you, they've had many, many years to perfect the process.

Poor Eddie! :(

2006-09-02T22:01:00.000-04:00

While walking Eddie this afternoon, a stray came from nowhere and jumped him, snarling and growling and tried to bite him. I was able to pull him away unharmed and instead of continuing on our walk, we just turned around and went home.

I thought that was the end of it...

After returning home and being inside for a short time, he whined at the door to go out so I put him on the chain in our yard and came back inside to make lunch. I often hear him barking at other dogs in the neighbourhood so I didn't think much of it when he was making noise, but when I heard yelping...alarm bells went off. So I looked out the window and the same dog was in my yard attacking Eddie. It had him pinned to the ground against the fence and was biting his left front leg. I ran outside hollering and yelling and tried to pull Eddie out from underneath the stray by his chain but I was too scared to get too close and get bitten myself so I grabbed the closest "weapon"...a shovel...and smacked the other dog 2 or 3 times before he released Eddie and ran off. I quickly took him off his chain, picked him up and ran him into the house to tend to his wounds and call the police and animal control.

He's got 4 puncture wounds on his left front leg around the elbow, a small cut on his nose, and one of his dew claws was ripped in the scuffle. I cleaned the wounds as best I could - he was such a good boy and let me take care of them without too much trouble. He favours the leg but can weight bear.

For anyone that's got an issue with my method of rescue...piss off.

No really, fuck off.

I'd do the EXACT same thing again in a heart beat. That dog doesn't want to come anywhere near me or Eddie EVER again....and if I find out who the irresponsible owner is, they'll be getting an earful, not to mention small claims action brought against them for the vet bill and medication that he's got to take because of the attack. I don't even know if this dog has had its shots, but I know mine has. That's what a responsible pet owner does.

After waiting for an hour and a half for animal control (the police refused to come, saying it was a matter for animal control) to arrive, take my statement and examine his wounds for their records, I was finally able to take Eddie to the emergency veterinary clinic where we waiting for 2 & 1/2 hours to be seen by the vet for all of about 10 minutes who wanted to take x-rays and explore the wound surgically, then depending on the outcome/results he'd send us home with pain killers and antibiotics.

I'm a single mother with limited resources, so I asked the vet if all that was absolutely necessary or was he just padding the bill by "recommending" all these procedures - he got kinda snarky at that, but hey! It's my pocket he's picking! He said "well, if you don't want to look after him properly you can just take him home with the medication."

Well!! Fuck you, doc...and the horse you rode in on - I layed it out for him so it was crystal clear.
By the time I was finished with him, he was somewhat more humble and even a little apologetic, blaming his short temper on a busy day and few breaks. I asked him would that be the half an hour plus that I heard him sitting in the next room with other staff members laughing and joking about an office party they'd all attended recently, and gossiped about one of their collegues and how intoxicated she got while I waited for 2 & 1/2 HOURS with my INJURED dog? His attempt to claim otherwise was met with direct rebuttal. So I asked him, "really, are there more than just yourself working today out of the group of people I heard through the door with an accent of East Indian descent?"

He didn't have anything else to say...imagine that...

10

2006-08-31T15:38:00.000-04:00

I can hardly believe I'm the mother of a 10 year old. It really just seems like yesterday that I was bringing him home from the hospital.

My mini-me turned 10 on the 29th. Gone are the days of total dependance...*sigh*

Oh hell, who am I kidding? As soon as he could talk he was all about "ME DO IT!!"...lol

I called my Grandma, who lives here in London as well, to ask if she'd like to join us for dinner that night and she happily said yes. (I found out later that she cancelled a standing date to play cards just to have dinner with us!)

On our way home, after dropping her off, B said..."you know Mom, it's funny...we see Nana & Poppa (my parents) all the time and we hardly ever see Gigi (when he was little he couldn't say great grandma so Gran said he could call her Gigi) and she lives right here. It must be hard getting old because nobody visits you much and that would make you lonely. We should visit her more often."

I concur, and we will make an effort to visit more often.

One determined dog...

2006-08-27T23:21:00.000-04:00

So I bought a crate for Eddie...he's had 2 more escape attempts and I'm scared he'll kill himself trying...

Today was a family birthday celebration at my parents' place in Stratford. My two oldest brothers, a sister-in-law, a niece and my mini-me all have birthdays within a few days of one another so we tend to do one large get together for all of 'em.

While we were in Stratford, a friend/contractor called me on my cell and said that the alarm company called him when they weren't able to get me at home; one of the glass-break alarms had been triggered at the house. I called the alarm monitoring station and told them that Ruben, my second-to-call person for monitoring, would check the house as he has access, and get back to me. They also informed me that they'd called the police to check things out and if there had been anything amiss...the police would have called them back. Given that I'd was only learning of the event 2 hours afterwards, I assumed everything was ok.

However, when we arrived home from the birthday party at around 9pm, Houndini had once more managed to escape again. FROM THE CRATE NO LESS!!!!!! He had obviously had run of the house since the alarm was originally triggered at 1:43pm...or there abouts...although he didn't do too much damage. Except for one of my mini-me's toys, a basket from the dining room table and the poop bag dispenser...it could have been MUCH worse!!!

I'm running out of ideas on how to contain him...help!!!!!!!

Back to work...

2006-08-23T21:13:00.000-04:00

I'm back to work now, and even though I've relished the time off and REALLY enjoyed spending the time with my mini-me, as has he - I've either been in school or working since he was about 5 months old without any significant amount of time off to be with him, I can honestly say I'm glad I am.

I was a little apprehensive about my return to work...given that I was off for "mental health" reasons, but my fears were all for naught. I was welcomed back by everyone and not a single person asked "why?". If they made any assumptions, I didn't hear about it and those I stayed in contact with while I was off and were privy to my circumstances kept my business private. For that, they are true friends and I hope they know how much I appreciate them.

As my Daddy says..."put a smile on your mug"...and I did. It carried me through the day, that and knowing I was going to get to spend some time with him after work today. *grin*

We had a little chat about whether or not I've been letting life happen to me, or making life happen...I think it's about time again that I start making life happen.

~peace~

Houndini

2006-08-08T21:14:00.000-04:00

We went to our local animal control centre the other day to get a license for Eddie and we left him at home as I didn't think it'd be necessary to take him with us. Unfortunately, because he's crossed with pit bull it almost became a problem - especially because he's not fixed yet! However, I had taken a few pictures of him with my PDA and happened to have it with me. The pictures were proof enough to the clerk that he more resembled a lab and has very few physical characteristics of the pit bull. As you can see in the pictures and in comparison, his coat & general appearance are mostly that of a lab, but his head is rather square and he has the characteristically big nose of a pit bull. What you can't see from any picture is that he's EXTREMELY powerful!!

Anyhow, back to why I've titled this entry "Houndini"...it was a nice day so I'd opened up the windows to let some fresh air in. When we left the house, I neglected to close the windows and while we were at animal control, my ex called and said "Eddie's here." We finished our business and headed home. I stopped at my house before going to my ex's to see how he'd gotten out. The screen in the bathroom window was pushed out of its frame and this was obviously how he exited, despite the approximately 6 foot drop from the window and nevermind that there were garden tools and a lawnmower directly below as well. Somehow, he made his way to my ex's house about 3 blocks away even though we've only walked there once since bringing Eddie home.

I think it's particularly ironic that we were at animal control when Eddie made his great escape!!! LOL

Eddie the dawg, aka Meathead

2006-08-04T15:52:00.000-04:00

Last week we welcomed a new member of the family!

His name is Eddie, affectionately known as Meathead...is a lab/pit cross but he thinks he's a lap dog...lol

58.5 pounds of lap dog!

I'm getting used to the twice daily walks and I tell ya, walking him is better than any workout at a gym!! I'm gonna have arms like Popeye soon.

Best of all, he's the mini-me's dog...so where he goes, Eddie goes and that includes to his dad's...however, I'm enjoying the walks so much I miss him when he's gone.

I still walk, but it's not the workout I get with Eddie...lol

It's not all downhill...

2006-08-01T14:57:00.000-04:00

In fact, the climb back up the hill isn't so hard either. :)

a little more to say...

2006-07-05T15:08:00.000-04:00

I know my mom means well...

She called my sister-in-law and let her know that I'm "not doing well"

Fawk

I'm stressed & I'm depressed. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why if you know a little bit about my life and what I deal with on a day-to-day basis with a child that's ADHD & ODD.

It's draining, it's a constant barrage of arguing every little thing and to date - admittedly so - I've not handled these situations and "battles" well.

That's changing.

I'm talking to the professionals that I should be talking to, and if I need more than that...I'll get it one way or another.

And I'm having dinner with my sister-in-law tomorrow night.

Gotta unstir the pot my mother stirred up.

no comment

2006-06-22T09:35:00.000-04:00

I'm off work for a while...a month to be more precise. My doctor thought it would be a good idea if I took a break, in fact...she insisted. She's also started me on Welbutrin SR.

I'm not so sure how I feel about medication, but sometimes you just do what you gotta do...

I've been having difficulty dealing with my mini-me's many issues and staying on top of my game...

I feel broken inside...

Needed

2006-05-20T19:00:00.000-04:00

I often wonder about my purpose in life...what's my role?

I was at a workshop this afternoon and just returned home a little while ago. I was invited to join a group from the workshop for dinner at Harmony House but a little voice in my head said "go home".

When I arrived home, just as I was pulling into the driveway, a young boy wiped out on his bicycle a couple doors down. I ran to help him and brought him into the house, had him lay down on the couch and grabbed my first aid supplies, cleaned him up as best I could and called his parents. He's probably going to need a few stitches and was more worried about being where he wasn't supposed to be, but basically he's ok and I can rest assured that he's safe with his family and being looked after.

It feels so good...so rewarding, to be needed...

She's home!

2006-04-23T11:52:00.000-04:00

We found the Husky a home and helped some kids get over the recent loss of a beloved pet.

I called Paul and asked him if he knew of anyone that would take the dog. My friend's allergy absolutely negates them keeping her and her daughter is becoming more & more fearful as the dog grows anyhow. They're going to look into getting a chihuahua - good dogs for allergy burdened folk.

As it turned out, Paul witnessed an accident and stopped to help on his way home from work one afternoon last week - a transport truck hit a German Shepherd, belonging to some people he knows. After a few calls back and forth and would they be interested and why she needs a home, the family that lost the Shep have taken the Husky in its place and it has worked out tremendously well for everyone.

good intentions, bad idea

2006-04-20T10:50:00.000-04:00

So we're not going to take the Husky pup...after much consideration (more than I'd given it before I said we'd take the dog) and on the advice of my MJ I've decided it's too much for our lifestyle. I work 9-5 Monday to Friday and my work isn't close enough to afford me going home on my lunch to tend to the dog. MJ told me about his brother's experiences with Huskies (he had a team of sled-dogs) and that was more than enough to change my mind.

MJ's going to look into finding us a more suitable dog for our lifestyle...a golden retriever most likely. This breed is much better suited to my mini-me's temperment and less likely to be high-strung.

the sniffles and a new addition to the family?

2006-04-19T11:22:00.000-04:00

After such an awesome weekend I've come down with a nasty cold and I know exactly where I got it after listening to him talk about his cold...argh! Serves me right, but he's just so darn smoochable!

A friend of mine has a 6 month old female Husky pup that she can't keep. She got the dog for her daughter for Christmas and has discovered that she's allergic to the animal and has since been trying to find it a home but hasn't had any luck. I've been thinking for quite a while that a dog would be a great calming influence on my mini-me and also an inspiration to have to get out and walk more!

I called and left her a message telling her we'd take her if she hasn't found a home yet - we'll go get her tonight if she hasn't!

Boing...boing...boing...

2006-04-17T09:09:00.000-04:00

We had Easter with my folks on Saturday afternoon and all the immediate family including Grandma W and Mum & Dad's Rotary exchange student, David. He's Columbian 17 years old, in his second year of law school. He took 2 years worth of schooling in one to get ahead and their schools run January to December - 12 months of the year.

Frankly, I think our kids would do much better academically if we were to adopt a schooling system such as this. As our country develops & evolves it's no longer a necessity to have the summer months off so we can help our families on farms as was historically necessary. As the family farm disappears and big corporations are running mega-farms times are changing fast.

I can just hear the resistance from teachers now...oy! It'd be a real bastard to have to work for a living 12 months out of the year like the rest of us, eh?

I got to see Paul this weekend *big cheesy grin*...I can't wait 'til the weather improves enough so we can go camping & take the kids. His & mine - I think they'll get along great when they finally meet!

Spunk

2006-04-03T19:44:00.000-04:00

Apparently I have it...or at the very least, I fake it well. (ha ha - I know, no self-deprecating comments, it is contrary to The Rules)

My boss threw me to the Lions today - to fill a need and more importantly, to pacify me, we've been having meetings with a guy from communications to work towards some solutions that will eventually make our jobs easier. That way, we're more able to better serve our customers..blah blah blah

But she made ME run the meeting and I coulda killed her. I do shadows and wallflower very well thank you very much and even though I was warned - Friday - that she had every intention of letting me run the show because it's been my baby all along actually...

Huh...

I just now figured it out as I write...I hadn't so thoroughly analyzed what she was doing coz I was too busy being freaked out by BEING IN CHARGE...

OK, I get it now...

Thank you...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My MJ was here earlier...seems I had to provide a solution to a problem I'd caused with a certain link I sent to him...

Those girls had spunk too.

So do I...again.

What to do?

2006-03-18T10:21:00.000-05:00

I'd like to take some courses at the university level. I have the resources to do so. It's part of my benefits package.

I just have absolutely NO clue what I want to take...I don't know what I want to be when I grow up...

And frankly, it terrifies me - the looming failure. (how's that for insecurity...lol)

I talked to MJ about it not long ago and his advice was to wait. There are things I have to do, to get my life in order and my ducks in a row before I tackle such a monumental undertaking.

Books

2006-03-18T10:05:00.000-05:00

I love books. I can lose myself for hours in a good book...for days in a series if it's compelling enough.

I'm currently reading Stephen King's Dark Tower series. Although I started reading it several months ago, I put them aside for a couple months while life got in the way and have just picked up book 5.

My job is such that I can occasionally read between calls but more often than not, it's busy enough that giving a good read its due focus can't be done.

And sometimes I answer the phone with a word or two of a phrase I've just read instead of my usual greeting...lol

I'm trying to foster the love I have for reading in my mini-me, but I'm afraid it's a losing battle...reading, to him is a chore. (not a chore to read to him, but he views it as a chore!)

Sunshine & roses

2006-03-17T18:35:00.000-05:00

A little bit about my MJ.

He's my best friend and my confidant. He has been my mentor for some time now and I appreciate him more & more every day.

He makes me laugh and cry and sometimes he even pisses me off, but in everything there is growth.

My mini-me thinks he walks on water...lol

So do I, some days.

A Series of More Fortunate Events

2006-03-17T14:43:00.000-05:00

So things have calmed down since the alarm system was installed and it's normal again, or as normal as it gets around here...

My mini-me has stopped counting his stuff and touching it all obsessively because of the break-in.

Paul called last night...we talked for a little while, but he was tired so we said our good nights and he said he'd call tonight. He puts such a smile on my face. *giggle* I don't think I'll see him this weekend unless I go up there on Sunday when his daughters have gone back to their mom's. It's not a bad drive back to town in the morning, traffic is fairly light that early...*groan*...at 6:30 am. The girls need their space alone with their dad right now and I respect and appreciate that. His ex expressed concern about his oldest daughter's reaction to my appearance in his life so we've agreed to limit my exposure to them for now. His youngest is ok with me though, they're both great kids & we'll just work it out as we go along. My mini-me thinks the world of Paul and can't wait to go fishing...lol

We had appointment #2 with the psychiatrist this morning - he really is a sweet guy and good with m-m, despite my crankiness and bad attitude regarding a series of postponed appointments by the doc. As a result of today's appointment, we're cutting back on the Risperdal to eventually eliminate it completely in about 3 months time. It has to be weaned off gradually, just as it was introduced to his system slowly and we go back in a month for follow-up. He'll remain on the same dosage of Dexedrine for now, which is calculated by weight.

If only you could see how I compose a post - lol - it just struck me as so ridiculously chaotic but hilariously funny all at once...ok ok - it is in MY world alright? :P...thoughts jump into my mind - precisely the analogy of constantly flipping the tv channels. Our - those of us afflicted with ADD/HD - brains are in constant motion. So if I don't get the thoughts down immediately, often they're gone and gone for good...lol...so I start out with several short thoughts but by the time you read this it's expanded, explained and cleaned up...and I've hopefully managed to catch any spelling and/or major grammatical errors. I'm a little neurotic about it - even though I do purposely use "slang" on occasion...it's just a *thing* I have about some of the things I try to read online but can't because it's all in short form & nobody uses all the same format...yanno?

JUST LEARN TO TYPE PEOPLE :P

I got roses today. 2 dozen long stem red roses. *sigh* He's so good to me :) ilu my MJ

I think I'm going to go get a tan...my colour is fading.

Busted

2006-03-10T20:20:00.000-05:00

My house got broken into recently.

I have few doubts as to who did it and what he was after, but he got nothing and caused me more aggravation than anything and managed to cost me a few bucks too to replace the door.

Worst of all, it's caused problems for my mini-me. He's been displaying behaviours not typical of him despite his ADHD & ODD, like counting his things and touching them obsessively & repeatedly.

I'd like to have to little bastard that broke in here by the balls JUST for that alone.

I had a security system installed and it's monitored 24/7.

Do you remember when?

2006-03-10T18:24:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago an old boyfriend (from 15 years ago) looked me up...via my mother. That was an interesting conversation, let me tell you.

It's been fun getting reacquainted, but he's got some struggles ahead of him regarding custody of his daughters whom he desparately wants to have home with him. He's such a good dad...and from what I remember of her, those girls are better off with him anyhow!

I could see myself falling for him again...hell, who am I trying to kid...I never really got over him!

But...he told me earlier that he's not in the right mindspace for a relationship, he needs me as a friend...not more complications. I respect him for his honesty and that only endears me more to him...so I'll try to keep my emotions reined in and not wear my heart on my sleeve...

Ha!

Curves

2006-02-15T21:06:00.000-05:00

I asked for, and received a membership to "Curves" for Christmas. However, time got away from me and I only recently got my butt into the gym to actually sign up...

I had gone to a gym a few years ago when my mini-me was much younger and his dad & I were still together. It was convenient to leave him with his dad while I'd go for my workouts but when we split, dragging a toddler to a gym & paying sky-high rates for childcare made it impossible to continue, so I had to give it up.

The club I'm going to is on my way to work and the sitter doesn't mind nor charge me any more for dropping him off earlier than I would any other morning before I head to work.

It just means I have to get up an hour earlier...*groans*

This is gonna be a good thing...really! :)

I liked this look...

2006-02-12T13:20:00.000-05:00

I think my mother would have a coronary though if I'd kept it.

Bills

2006-02-12T13:02:00.000-05:00

There's one I hope I'm never rid of, but most bills I'd gladly ditch.

However, since putting the new windows in, I have realized a significant savings on heating costs. December's gas bill was $237 whereas January's was $185. That's $52 difference and the weather for both months was comparable.

My next big change will be the heating & a/c, that's going in on Wednesday. The ancient tempermental behemoth will be beheaded & gutted and a sleek new hepa filtered heating & cooling unit with Star Trek-esque gadgets will be put in its place.

With the rising costs of fuel & energy it just doesn't make sense to be putting so much to waste. I hope to save another $40-$60/month by replacing the furnace & a/c.

Friday!

2006-02-10T13:00:00.000-05:00

T.G.I.F!!!!!!!!

up & down

2006-02-08T12:02:00.000-05:00

The variable weather has been wreaking havoc on my migraine management. I did attempt to go to work today but left an hour and a half into my shift feeling nauseus and wearing shades with the lights out on my side of the office.

I still feel "bleh"...I think I'll go to bed.

Waxing & whining

2006-02-03T12:01:00.000-05:00

It hurts...lol

But i prefer waxing over shaving ANY day...less maintenance despite the pain and once you start, it's addicting (ok, so i LIKE pain)

Peace reigns at home...the boarder from hell is gone and i actually filed a complaint with the city police community liaison regarding the grossly misinformed officer who thought it was appropriate to yell at me when he was totally in the wrong and not allow me to speak and make my point. Had the arrogant bastard done so, he would have quickly understood he was mistaken and quite likely saved me a shitload of grief.

HA! That's all the whining i have in me for today...lol

Have a fantabulous weekend folks :)

Issues

2006-01-25T21:55:00.000-05:00

I've had some...

I had to evict my boarder. Too long to go into it all...it'll just wind me up again...lol

Suffice it to say the police were here - 3 times.

He almost had me backed into a corner in that I thought I was stuck with him until the end of February, then my lawyer told me that if he shares either the kitchen or bathroom facilities with me or a family member, he's exempt from the Landlord Tenant Act.

PHEW!

My lawyer rocks. We love her to pieces and she's always got hugs. She has interesting pets and very quirky habits. She's brilliant but a little bipolar I think. She's helped me out time & time again and doesn't charge me an arm & a leg when she does charge me a fee for her services, most often just court filing costs if any. Because she works out of her home and has other more lucrative income...half the time she doesn't bill me for things.

Like my panicky call to her about getting rid of the boarder from hell. She owns properties of various types so she knows the Landlord Tenant Act inside out. She referred me to this statute from the Tenant Protection Act, 1997, Chapter 24, Part 1, #3, Section (i)

You can search all current Ontario Consolidated Law, Source Law and Annual Consolidations here: http://www.e-laws.gov.on.ca/

3. This Act does not apply with respect to,
(i) living accommodation whose occupant or occupants are required to share a bathroom or kitchen facility with the owner, the owner’s spouse, same-sex partner, child or parent or the spouse’s or same-sex partner’s child or parent, and where the owner, spouse, same-sex partner, child or parent lives in the building in which the living accommodation is located;

End quote. *hmph*

The rooms are filthy and there's probably 4 or 5 bags worth of garbage to be taken out but I can deal with that, I didn't expect he was going to hire Molly Mail.

On the upside, he left a refrigerator and a couple 2-drawer storage units.

It's over...

2006-01-12T14:00:00.000-05:00

Georgia's struggle is over. She went peacefully in her sleep last night.

Rest easy now our angel...we love you!

How?

2006-01-05T18:21:00.000-05:00

Christmas was hard for me to get into this year and I'm not out of this slump yet.

How can I celebrate when innocents are dying?

Not only Bill & Janny's sweet girl Georgia...

But around the world...

How do I, in good conscience, embrace life and laugh in the face of another's adversity?

I feel guilty...

I'd rather feel like I were doing something - making change.

Not just letting life happen to me, but making life happen.

Holding on...

2006-01-04T19:02:00.000-05:00

Georgia was taken to Stratford Hospital yesterday afternoon. She is mostly non-responsive but did talk a bit and then slipped back again. She is awake and we think hearing, but just not able to communicate. She had the hiccups every few seconds for over 24 hours and that was exhausting.

Earlier in the day she told Jan that God had given her peace in her heart and that she would be seeing Jesus soon. That was about all she said all day. Not sure what will happen next but she made it through the night so we will pray and wait.

Praying God will give us all that same peace.

Cranky

2005-12-28T13:01:00.000-05:00

It pisses me off when people say needlessly hurtful things and sometimes I speak my mind about it, especially if I'm "in a mood".

My back has been out since I woke yesterday and there's precious little that's easing the pain. I've been to the chiropractor - I'm a mess according to him.

Duh...lol

I've got friends coming over in a bit - I think I'll break out the percocet...they have 2 rambunctious boys and when they get together with my mini-me - chaos ensues! *grin*

Christmas angst...

2005-12-24T20:29:00.000-05:00

So...today was a pretty good day with my family, contrary to my previous forebodings about my s-i-l. She's really not a bad sort...not all the time. ;)

We ate...nibblers 'til the meal was ready, exchanged gifts, had dessert, sat around and socialized and generally just had a nice time together...

'Til my mini-me had a mild meltdown. Now granted this wasn't one of his full blown nuclear meltdowns, but it's frustrating all the same and I wish I understood him better. I wish he could make me understand him...I wish he'd open up and tell me what's wrong instead of blowing up making an unnecessary and embarrassing scene.

BTW...I did the day straight - no booze. I had a feeling things were going to get ugly with the kidlet as soon as his dad dropped him off this morning and I wanted my wits about me...my fuse can be as short as his when I'm under the influence of alcohol.

Am I In the Mood...?

2005-12-23T16:31:00.000-05:00

For Christmas you pervs...ha :P

Sorta...I've finished shopping - with a whopping 19 & 1/2 hours to spare 'til the party at my parents' tomorrow.

I'll wrap things up tonight before going out with the girls (ruh roh). Tonight should be fun...lol

Around 10 am I'll haul ass outta bed, get on the road once my ex drops the mini-me off and go see just how mental my family can make me this year. My 2nd brother's wife and her snippy comments and perfect children...pffft

I do believe I'll arm myself with an alcohol induced wall of indifference...although that might just be a bad thing given I've been known to speak my mind while under the influence. That could prove to be entertaining...I could plead drunken idiocy...she already knows what an asshole my brother (her husband) can be when he's tight...

On second thought, I'll avoid the booze just in case I feel the need to GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.

Going home...

2005-12-22T13:41:00.000-05:00

Georgia is going home from the hospital today. Not that she is better but they are not doing anything more through her port. The Stratford medical people are getting all that she will need in the way of oxygen etc. so now our prayer is that she will be stable in her own home. Please join me in praying for that and for strength for Bill and Janet to handle everything. The other 4 kids are staying with Grandma & Grandpa tonight and hopefully they can all be together tomorrow. The little boys ask every day when they can go home.

Dear God, hear my prayer. Take this little one home to you and hold her family in your arms, giving them the strength to get through this together.

Amen

Good food....

2005-12-12T23:34:00.000-05:00

Good company... I had the pleasure of having dinner with my good friend Kjeld (pronounced Keld - the j is silent...he's Danish, k?) who always manages to keep me in stitches with his blondeness and the Kingdom of Kjeld. He's a slut. About a year ago I bought him a pin that says SLUT....and he promptly pinned it on his shirt while we were out for dinner and told everyone how proud he was to be one...he's a giggle. We talk almost daily it seems on msn, but I don't get to see him often, so it was a real treat. That and not having to do the dishes was appealing as well.

No drinks though - it's the season for the boys in the black and whites (or at least they used to be) out prowlin' to catch anyone that's had a few too many. I need my license, thanks.

And I thank them for this.

They take quite a haranguing our boys in blue, but they do their best to keep our streets safe so we can raise our kids in relative sanity...or as sane as it can be in my world ;)

success

2005-12-08T23:21:00.000-05:00

I used to be quite adept at beating myself up "in my head".

I have a list of rules and on this list, and it's quite extensive so I won't bore you with the details save one, it says that I am to, at all times, hold myself in the highest esteem.

That's a tough one to live up to. For every failure there was an attempt, and more often success now rather than just giving up...or not trying at all...
***********************
Oh...Annie was good! The kids in the show put on a great performance as did Miss Hannigan *grin* Many years ago (1982!), my mom bought me the soundtrack to the movie with a stellar cast (Aileen Quinn, Carol Burnett, Albert Finney, Tim Curry, Bernadette Peters) when it was released and it was obviously a favourite then...and still is. It's timeless entertainment.

And Daddy Warbucks was HOT! lol

the best of intentions...

2005-12-07T19:47:00.000-05:00

I had big plans for our future

Said I'd give you the whole world somehow

I tried makin' good on that promise

Thought I'd be so much further by now

Never could build you a castle

Even though you're the queen of my heart

But I've had the best of intentions from the start

Now some people think I'm a loser'

Cause I seldom get things right

But you make me feel like a winner

When you wrap me in your arms so tight

Please tell me you will remember

No matter how much I do wrong

That I had the best of intentions all along

I gave you a ring

And I promised you things

I always thought we'd do

But my best-laid plans

Slipped right through my hands

To show my love for you

And if you could read my heart

Then you'd know without exception

It was all with the best of intentions

So here I am asking forgiveness

And praying that you'll understand

Don't think I take you for granted

Girl, I know just how lucky I am

Though you deserve so much better

You won't find devotion more true

'Cause I've had the best of intentions

Girl, I've had the best of intentions

Yes, I've had the best of intentions loving you

TRAVIS TRITT

****************

So...ignore any ring references...my current mood ain't about that. Besides...I like my space. I played house once and I wasn't very good at it...lol

I do not play well with others and I have difficulty sharing my toys. ;)

But the people in my life that I do care about deserve my utmost consideration....just that sometimes I feel like my best intentions aren't good enough......or maybe they're too much.

I think I'll go shovel snow.

The sun'll come up.......Tomorrow!

2005-12-06T22:14:00.000-05:00

Annie is the Christmas show playing at The Grand Theatre. I'm taking my mini-me on Thursday evening and sometime next week, I'm going to take a friend.

I'll have that music in my head for weeks...lol

The moat was completed, the necessary foundation repairs made and all the correct "stuff" done that needed doing was done to ensure that I will NOT have a wet basement ever again and backfilled just before a BIG snowfall hit the city. It hasn't left yet either...not like the first drop that we got.

I don't like snow much. It's cold and sloppy and makes worse drivers out of already bad ones...I swear we have the worst drivers here! It's not conducive to my travel plans either...I'm not a confident snow driver, I'd rather just stay home!

Preferably curled up on a bearskin rug in front of a roaring fire with good food, good drink and good company...

I'd need a fireplace though.

flu wasted

2005-11-25T17:18:00.000-05:00

Feel like a slug...slept most of the day *yawn*

And I got a flu shot! hmph!

holes & geishas

2005-11-21T23:04:00.000-05:00

Sometime in the near future there will be holes dug. Actually, it's sounding more like there's going to be a trench of some sort....lol.....a moat??

Hey! I'm finally getting my castle. Where's my Prince Charming?

*giggle*

I can't help but laugh...if I don't, I think I'd cry.

Memoirs of A Geisha is coming to theatres SOON! I'm going AND buying it when it's out on DVD. I've read it only about a dozen times....lol

the money pit

2005-11-16T10:50:00.000-05:00

I'm beginning to think that buying this particular house wasn't the most brilliant idea I've had...

Last night when I returned home from work, my tenant came up to tell me there was water coming in...not great gushing buckets full, but the floor was wet as was the new drywall, around the bottom edge.

Himself's going to look up a basement/foundation repair specialist he knows and put me in touch him.

My chiropractor told me I don't need him, I need a massage therapist...any takers??

Slow progress

2005-11-09T12:21:00.000-05:00

I finally received a call yesterday from the agency that my mini-me is going to get treatment from. It wasn't much more than a "thanks for being so patient, I hear your pain" kinda call, but it was reassuring nonetheless to know that progress is happening even if it's at a snail's pace.

I took him to see Chicken Little last night. It was really cute and we had a good time. We needed the giggles desperately and what's more, we needed the time together where we weren't arguing about homework or bedtime or cleaning up of toys...

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my oh so tenuous grip on things...I'm crying more and more easily, I'm short tempered (ok, more short tempered than usual!) and sometimes I think about just giving up...ending it all...

But then I remember he needs me...and that's all I need to carry on...to find a way.

It's not easy being me...

Help Wanted

I really did it

I Quit!

My baby is growing up...but just a little!

RIP

Dear Jane...

Selfish asshole

yer gonna give me a heart attack kid!

I miss you

Happy New Year

Avril * * * aid

Now...where was I?

They're baaaaaack!

to camp or not to camp

Harry Potter

political science & stuff

June...already!

Long, long weekend

back to school

Happy Easter leadfoot

a pause for a passionate cause

Soul Searching

random memory...flashback lol

jealousy

Bad Car-ma

Snurfling

I aged 10 years in a matter of hours...

38

The Riot Act

Awesomeness

Home alone

Back to the grind...

Happy New Year

bah humbug

I'm not ready to make nice...

Oh my aching head...

Can I lick yer nipple?

Loss

Alyssa lies...

Unappreciated

Bumper Cars

A plethora of chocolate

Body image

Just 5 more minutes Mom...

To my favourite teenage refugee

More random cuteness

Learned skills

Snippy

On being prepared...

Breakfast sex...

Round Two

Progress!

The battle rages on...

The Cone of Humiliation

Mondays suck most of the time...

Misquoted & maligned...ah the morons of the world abound

Much better & movin' in

Poor Eddie! :(

10

One determined dog...

Back to work...

Houndini

Eddie the dawg, aka Meathead

It's not *all* downhill...

a little more to say...

no comment

Needed

She's home!

good intentions, bad idea

the sniffles and a new addition to the family?

Boing...boing...boing...

Spunk

What to do?

Books

Sunshine & roses

A Series of More Fortunate Events

Busted

Do you remember when?

Curves

It's not all downhill...